


The Serkets

by kaybee



Series: A Year In The Life [10]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Canon Disabled Character, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Gen, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-04-04 11:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaybee/pseuds/kaybee
Summary: Skaia High is full of a strange assortment of characters; the douchebag who plays guitar (badly) to pick up chicks, the 17-year old who still carries around Pokémon cards, but everyone finds him attractive regardless, the girl who became a certified lifeguard at 14, the disguised albino, the girl who’s best friend blinded her in 7th grade, and a myriad of other odd friends. They are slowly finding their way, paving their paths as they grow up. This is a compilation of their stories.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Vriska Serket is an abrasive girl with a less-than-stellar home life. But her friends are starting to get tired of her shit, and she tries to figure out IF she can change, and how to do so.





	1. Nostalgia

            “Oh man, we haven’t been up in the treehouse for so long,” Vriska said cheerfully. Terezi laughed a bit. It was honestly weird feeling the texture of the rope with only her right hand. Sometimes Vriska truly hated having a prosthetic arm, but it was better than only having one arm.  
            “Yeah, Mom says it’s not safe for me to up so high, but she’s hardly around lately so who cares?” Terezi answered. Wow, a mother who makes herself scarce? Vriska would kill for that.  
           “Yeah, where is she anyway?”  
           “Hell if I know. Between her clients and her own case against Dad and the baby shit--”  
           “Whoa, whoa, wait-- she’s suing your dad? Why?”  
            Terezi shrugged. “Guess he hasn’t been paying child support.”  
            Vriska scoffed. “Like you need it; your mom makes lawyer money.”  
            “That’s what I’m saying!” Terezi gestured incredulously. “I told her to just let it go because it’s stressing her out and it’s bad for the baby but she just said something about justice…” Terezi sighed. Vriska smiled to herself a bit. That was the Pyropes for you, always searching for justice in the most radical way. Even Terezi; she always wanted to right these wrongs she had nothing to do with. Vriska preferred to leave well enough alone. Unless payback was in her own best interest. Regardless of their views of morality, Terezi and Vriska had always had each other’s backs and that didn’t change despite their messy accidents. Okay, so only _one_ of the things that happened was an accident. But Terezi stuck by Vriska regardless, and Vriska always appreciated that. For whatever reason, she had a hard time making friends. After another quiet moment, Vriska spoke again.  
            “So when’s she due? The baby, I mean.”  
            “I think April?”  
            “Oh, breaking up the Libra squad,” Vriska laughed. It was always some kind of weird coincidence. Terezi’s whole family was Libra, just like Vriska’s whole family was Scorpio. And if you believed in astrology, three Scorpios under one roof was a disaster waiting to happen. Terezi laughed a bit too.  
            “I know, it’s kind of weird how that worked out.” Vriska paused and looked out from the treehouse. They were above Terezi’s house, and Vriska could see past it; see the neighborhood sprawling out beneath her, and she followed the roads with her eye until they went winding up into the hills. She let out a small breath.  
            “Great view from up here, eh Pyrope?” Vriska teased. She glanced over at Terezi, who was scowling at her. “Come on, don’t be like that. I’m just messing with you a bit.”  
            “Hmph.”  
            “‘Reziii.”  
            “It’s fine, Vris. Besides, we already got even for that.” Vriska touched her face with her real hand, feeling the scars around where her eye used to be.  
            “An eye for an eye,” she murmured.  
            “An eye for an eye and an arm for the other,” Terezi answered. Vriska paused for a moment, glancing down at her other arm, all plastic and metal and wires. She flexed her fingers a bit, still glad she could even operate them as well as she did. “It was an accident, you know,” Terezi said after a minute.  
            “Yeah, I know.” It had been an accident. It wasn’t like when Vriska told everyone that what happened to Tavros was an accident. She’d meant to hurt Tavros; maybe not as bad as she did, but Terezi had just wanted to confront her, not hurt her. Accident or not, it was in the past. “Thank fuck for Equius, right?” Vriska hated the idea of owing him a favor, but she certainly did.  
            “Mhm.” Vriska tried to ignore the tension that had just come between them. They hadn’t even been in the treehouse since that day, so it was proving difficult not to think about it. BUt they were still friends, so Terezi had to have put it behind her. Despite this, things didn’t feel quite the same. They clearly still had their underlying problems.  
            “You know, being up here reminds me of the Team Scourge days. Hey! We should get the D&D group back together!” Vriska said, feeling very excited with that idea. “We always had such great adventures.”  
            “I was impartial.” Well, Terezi was the DM, so of course she was going to claim she was impartial.  
            “Suuuuuuuure.”  
            “Yeah, well, you may be able to talk Eridan and Tavros into it, but something tells me Aradia won’t be a part of any new session we start.” Vriska rolled her eyes. The only reason Eridan ever played with them was because Vriska and Eridan had been dating at the time. Still, Dualscar was a pretty cool character. Until he died, in a really lame way. And Aradia. Vriska and Aradia had never really gotten along all that well.  
            “Who cares? She was always so odd anyway. We could probably get Nepeta to play; she’s into roleplay.”  
            “You can’t just replace your friends, Vriska.”  
            “Sure I can. Besides, it’s not like I cut Aradia out of my life or anything, but if she doesn’t want to play D&D anymore, she doesn’t have to.” The matter between Vriska and Aradia was more complicated than that. They hung out a lot as kids, and then Tavros started spending more time with Aradia, and maybe Vriska got jealous, and maybe Vriska orchestrated an event that involved a Ouija board, after Aradia’s mom died, but she never expected anything to happen with it. Regardless, Aradia got very odd after that. She still hung around that group of friends, but she just seemed weirdly interested in death and ghosts and she and Sollux bonded over this bizarre concept of voices and doom that Vriska never understood. But, whatever, that wasn’t even the point.  
           Regardless of what happened or what didn’t happen in the past, Terezi and Vriska spent the majority of the afternoon up in the treehouse, laughing and making jokes and trying to relish in the last little bits of sunshine before it disappeared behind the hills again. And then, Vriska’s phone rang. With just one glance, she already didn’t want to answer it. But, there would be hell to pay if she didn’t.  
           “What,” she said bluntly as she answered the phone.  
           “Vriska where the hell are you?”  
           “Mom, Jesus Christ, I’m at Terezi’s.” God, her mom could never remember anything.  
           “Don’t you talk to me like that. I thought I told you to get some dinner. I’m starving. Just get something on your way home, you gotta do something to pull your weight around here. Lazy little--”  
           “Ugh, please sto--”  
           “You’re always trying to get away from me.”  
           “Sto--”  
           “Good for nothing.”  
           “Mom, stop talking. I’ll go to the stupid grocery store, fuck,” Vriska hissed, hanging up before her mother could get another word out. She looked at Terezi, who had one eyebrow raised up at her.  
           “You talk to your mom like that?”  
           “She’s being dumb. Anyway. Guess I gotta go.”  
           “Alright, well, see ya later then.” Vriska went down the rope ladder and then out front through the side gate instead of through the house. God, she couldn’t stand her mother, especially when she started belittling her. Good for nothing?     
           Vriska had to prove her wrong; Vriska had to be something great. And the worst part was none of her friends even knew how terrible her mother was. They had money, but her mom didn’t really do anything to take care of Vriska and Aranea. It was always, “you should be grateful there’s even a roof over your head.” At least she didn’t notice when Vriska snuck money out of her wallet, because _hey,_ a girl needed to buy new clothes once in a while. But of course Vriska didn’t have any cash on her. Her empty wallet stared back at her.  
            “Oh, great,” she huffed. She knew she couldn’t go home empty-handed; her mom would kill her. So she’d have to either steal something or find some money, fast. The former was bound to be easier, so Vriska strolled inside, minding her own business. She gathered a few items—mostly frozen dinners that were easy to pop into the microwave or oven—and took them over to the self-checkout. These things were a miracle; nobody would question her if they _thought_ she paid, so she shuffled things around, squinted at the computer screen, and then shoved everything into her bag. The whole ‘charging for shopping bags’ thing was great, too, since it wouldn’t seem out of place for her not to have one. Really, all they were doing was making things easier for sneaky little thieves like her. It wasn’t as if she really _wanted_ to steal, either, but her mother made it clear what would happen if she didn’t comply. As it happened, her mother _still_ wasn’t happy with what Vriska brought, disdain evident on her face as Vriska emptied the stolen goods onto the kitchen counter.  
             “What’s this crap?”  
             “It’s a frozen pizza, Mom. You just put it in the oven.”  
             “I didn’t ask you to get me something I had to _cook._ I said to get dinner.”  
              “Well if you would just give me an ALLOWANCE, I would be able to get fast food or something instead of committing petty theft at the GROCERY STORE!” Vriska yelled.  
              “Oh, you want _money._ Earn your own money, you freeloader. What do you even _need_ money for, so you can go track down your dad and leave your poor mother all alone?”  
              “Don’t guilt-trip me, Mom. I’m 14, it’s not like I can even get a job,” Vriska huffed, toning her voice down. It was probably a bad idea to keep yelling.  
              “Oh, excuses excuses. Whatever, I’ll make your damn pizza.” Vriska clenched her fists, grit her teeth, rumbling with anger at the way her mom treated her. It was like she was just some food source, not even a daughter. Just, ‘take care of it or I’ll kick you out, Vriska.’ That was nothing she should have to worry about. But her mom was such a neglectful, heinous bitch. It was her fault Vriska was even missing an eye; Mom didn’t even want to let them put a glass eye in. Vriska remembered hearing her mom saying that maybe just having the bandages forever would teach her a lesson, as if the whole incident hadn’t been enough of a wake-up call. Vriska stomped up to her bedroom and slammed the door, not even bothering to think about if Aranea was studying. Aranea was _always_ studying, nose-deep in her fucking history books. Instead of telling her mom what she really thought of her, Vriska just turned up her speakers and started blasting her music.  
             "I am an arms dealer, fitting you with weapons in the form of words!” she shouted-slash-sang along, until Aranea pounded on their shared wall. When Vriska didn’t turn the music down, Aranea came to the door instead, walked in, and did it herself.  
            “Vriska, please, I am trying to study.”  
            “It’s summer. Break. What are you studying?”  
            “I’m reading old biographies of someone we may be related to,” Aranea said, letting her know-it-all-ness show. Vriska rolled her eyes, and Aranea huffed. “You know, Vriska, I thought you would be more interested in my research of our ancestry.”  
            “Yeah, unless we’re related to pirates or something, I don’t wanna hear it.”  
            “Well, actually—”  
            “Aranea, I _don’t caaaaaaaare.”_  
            “You really can be so rude sometimes!” Aranea shouted before storming back out.  
            “Ugh!” Vriska groaned, and she turned her music back off and grabbed her bag again, running down the stairs and out the front door before her mom could ask where she was going. Anything was better than being in this house. So, who could Vriska go blow off some steam with? Terezi had been all huffy with her, so maybe going back to hang out with her wasn’t the best plan. There was only one other person Vriska knew would put up with her on short notice. As she started off down the sidewalk, she noticed Equius, her neighbor and sometimes friend, sitting on his porch. He looked up at her and stood up, so Vriska paused in her path, wondering what Sweats McGee wanted to talk to her about.  
            “Hey Eq,” she said as he approached.  
            “Hello, Miss Serket. I have a question for you.”  
            “Ok, shoot.”  
            “Well, there seems to be something of a relationship between you and Mr. Nitram, correct?” Vriska felt herself flare up with blush.  
            “And what business is that of yours?”  
            “I am only asking because… people of our social standing—you and me, I mean… it is just. Oh fiddlesticks.”  
            Vriska rolled her eyes. “Spit it _out,_ Zahhak.”  
            “Do you have difficulties acknowledging your feelings for someone of such a low social standing?” Equius finally managed to ask. Vriska raised an eyebrow at him befuddledly, and then sputtered into laughter.  
            “Do you actually believe the classist garbage that comes out of your mouth, or is this just a load of shit? Look, just because we have money and big houses and stuff doesn’t mean _anything._ If you like someone and they’re like, ‘low-class’ or whatever, who cares!” Honestly, Equius’ rich kid bullshit was exhausting. Yeah, Vriska’s family had money too and it didn’t make her life any easier. “So who is it?”  
            “Uh… it’s Miss Droog.”  
            “Hm. Interesting.”  
            “Do you have any… advice?”  
            “Why don’t you fucking ask Nepeta? She’s _way_ better at this romance stuff than me.” Equius looked embarrassed when Vriska mentioned Nepeta, and he glanced away. “Besides, it’s not like that with me and Tavros. Just talk to her.”  
            “Very well. But might I remind you that you do owe me a favor?” Vriska glanced down at her prosthetic. Fuck, he was right.  
            “ _Fine._ If shit goes south, I’ll help. But for now, I gotta go.” Vriska waved him off and continued on her way. Why did that asshole have to bring up Tavros? If she said that was who she was going to hang out with, it would only prove him right. But Equius was notoriously _terrible_ at relationships, even just simple friendships. Everyone in the group thought he was like, vaguely creepy, except for Nepeta. Those two were pretty much inseparable, for whatever reason. And _then_ he mentioned her fucking arm? What a jerk.

            It wasn’t exactly a short walk to Tavros’ place, but Vriska was just listening to her music and minding her own business. When she got onto Tavros’ street, she shot him a message on Pesterchum.

 arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering adiosToreador [AT]

AG: Hey, toreadumbass.  
AG: Let’s go for a walk.  
AT: Uhhhhhh  
AG: I mean, I’ll push your stupid chair. I just need to get out of my house.  
AT: Ok, i guess thats fine  
AG: Cool, I’m outside.

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]

 

            Despite a bit of a contentious history, Vriska couldn’t help but smile when she saw Tavros rolling down the ramp to his front door towards her.  
            “Hey, loser,” she said, teasing him gently.  
            “Hey Vriska. You… dyed your hair?” he asked. Right! She’d dip-dyed her naturally blonde ends to a cerulean blue.  
            “Yeah, isn’t it just the coolest?” She’d done it at Terezi’s house as to not stain her tub and risk her mom wanting to kill her, but when she saw it, her mom wanted to kill her anyway so the whole thing was a moot point. It still looked cool, and despite Aranea disapproving, she said it did bring out Vriska’s eye. Tavros started rolling down the sidewalk, and Vriska fell into step beside him as they headed towards the park.  
            “So… you ready?” Tavros asked. Vriska raised an eyebrow at him. “For, uh, school tomorrow, I mean.” Vriska felt her smile immediately drop.  
            “School starts tomorrow?”  
            “Yeah. You didn’t know?”  
            “No, my mom is… so clueless,” she muttered. She didn’t really tell her friends how bad her mom could be sometimes. The last thing she wanted was anybody’s pity. “And Aranea has been too wrapped up in her own business to keep me in the loop on _anything._ Such a fucking bookworm. Shit! I can’t believe I forgot!”  
            Tavros had a perfectly pitiful expression on his face, and Vriska kind of wanted to smack him for it. “W- um, I have some extra… notebooks and… stuff. Maybe you could use it until you can go supply-shopping.”  
            Vriska scowled at him. “Don’t be stupid, Tavros. I’m not looking for charity. I’ll take care of it myself.” Being self-sufficient was one thing Vriska was good at.  
            “I was only trying to help.”  
            “Maybe I don’t need your help.”  
            “If you say so,” Tavros muttered. Vriska rolled her eyes at him, and then he got quiet. She never liked it when he got quiet, or when anyone got quiet, really. She didn’t know how to handle a lull in the conversation. The sun was beginning to go down behind them as they walked.  
            “Brr, it’s getting chilly out,” Vriska said pointedly.  
            “Yeah…” Tavros murmured. “Do you wanna head home?”  
            God no. Heading home was really the last thing she wanted to do. “No.”  
            “Uh…okay…”  
            Vriska frowned at him. Didn’t he get the memo? “I _said_ I’m _cold,_ numbnuts.”  
            “Uhh…”  
            “Are you going to offer me your coat or not?”  
            “Oh! Oh, yeah, here,” Tavros said, worming his way out of his sweater. And a moment later, he was on the ground, faceplanted on the sidewalk. Vriska looked down at him, and she couldn’t help but to laugh.  
            “Tavros, that was just. So pathetic. Hahaha, you look so sad right now!” Vriska just kept laughing, Tavros saying something she didn’t quite hear, and then managed to climb back into his chair, pulling his sweater back on. It was actually mildly impressive. “Wow, toreadork, that’s some mad upper-body strength you got.”  
            “Well, it _is_ a manual chair. I mean, I, uh, spend a lot of time pushing my own weight around.”  
            “You just look like you have the muscle density of a twig.”  
            “Maybe we should just head back,” Tavros suggested, a small frown on his face. He started heading back in the direction of his house as they talked. Vriska let out a long groan and then looked back at him.  
            “Yeahhhhhhhh. You’re not wrong. I just don’t _want_ to go back home.”  
            “Why do you want to avoid your house so badly?”  
            “Have you _met_ my mom? Remember how ‘torn up’ she was when I was in the hospital? That she didn’t even want to discuss payment options for a fake eye? She just let them sew it up! And she’s been acting even screwier than usual lately. My aunt Snowman has been bugging her out.” This was probably because Snowman was the principal of the high school Vriska was due to start at the next day, and Vriska thought her mom was worried she’d tell Snowman how she was treated at home. It was never the same worry with Aranea, maybe because Aranea coasted barely underneath their mother’s radar, always buried in her books and schoolwork. Vriska was a lot rougher around the edges, and instead of learning to deal with it, her mother was trying to sand down those edges via harsh words and shitty treatment.  
            “Snowman?”  
            “I don’t even know her real name! _God_ my family is so fuckin’ weird. You’re lucky, Tavros, with your dumb nuclear family.” It was true; Tavros and his two regular parents and his older brother, with a sibling dynamic that was a lot more amicable and friendly than hers and Aranea’s, which read mainly as ‘two people who JUST HAPPEN to live in the same house and kind of vaguely tolerate each other’.  
            “No family is perfect,” Tavros answered with a sigh.  
            “Yeah, well, better than mine. Ugh. I _should_ probably go, though.”  
            “Okay. Night, Vriska.”  
            “Psh, see you later, you fucking dweeb,” she laughed a bit, still smiling despite having to go back to her mother. She stepped off the Nitram porch and heard Tavros go in the door behind her. As she walked back home, she wondered 1) if her mom was going to yell at her for leaving without saying anything, or if she’d be asleep on the couch and not even notice (Vriska sincerely hoped it was the latter) and 2) exactly what the hell she was supposed to do about school tomorrow.


	2. Schoolhouse Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska may be confident, but that doesn't mean she always fits in.

            Vriska was feeling uncharacteristically hesitant about going to school. She shifted her backpack, filled with whatever paper she could find—mostly Aranea’s old notebooks—and a few pens and pencils that were in her nightstand from the year before, in her lap. Aranea glanced at her from the driver’s seat.  
            “What’s wrong?”  
            “Why didn’t you remind me that school was starting?”  
            “I had no reason to believe you were unaware. Besides, you hardly ever let me get through a sentence before writing off the conversation. We’ll go to the store after school, okay?” Aranea said, being genuinely kind, if a bit terse. Vriska nodded, having grabbed some cash out of the jar in her closet that morning knowing they’d need to make a trip. Her mother didn’t know about that stash, and she hoped it would stay that way. Whatever. She wasn’t going to let the idea of her mother ruin her day. High school was supposed to be a good time. Vriska managed to smile, confidence coming back into her as she thought about it. She was going to be great. Or at least, more popular than Aranea, though that wasn’t exactly a high bar. Having reassured herself, Vriska was ready for class, and it came no moment too soon, as Aranea had finally managed to find a parking spot. The girls got their stuff out of the car and went their own ways wordlessly. Vriska had to show up early to get her textbooks from the library, since the actual day for that had gone right over her head, so she did that, begrudgingly, as the librarian seemed very annoyed with her, and then went to drop a couple off in her locker. As she made her way through the hallway, more students were beginning to arrive. Vriska was loading up her locker when she spotted a familiar face in the hallway; none other than Kanaya Maryam. Honestly, Vriska thought she was really pretty and probably the most fashionable in the friend group. It was kind of a wonder that she hadn’t had a boyfriend yet. Probably all that bugging and fussing and meddling she did.  
            “Hey, Maryam!” Vriska called. Kanaya seemed to hesitate for a moment, and then came towards the lockers, putting a combination into the one next to Vriska’s.  
            “Good morning, Vriska,” Kanaya said as she did so.  
            “Heeeeeeeey, looks like we’re locker buddies.”  
            “Yes, looks like,” Kanaya answered, her voice curt.  
            “Honestly, thank God. Means I got put next to someone actually reasonable. Anything beats having to deal with Tavros all the damn time.” Vriska shut her locker and leaned on the door. “Hey, let me see your schedule!” She wanted to compare. It wouldn’t hurt to have Kanaya as a study partner; she was pretty smart.  
            “Oh, uh… sure,” Kanaya answered, taking a piece of paper out of her binder. Always so meticulous and organized, she was. Vriska snatched it out of her hands and looked it over, to find disappointing results.  
            “Looks like you’re not in any of my classes. What a bummer!” Vriska said as she handed the schedule back to Kanaya. “What’re you taking French for anyway?”  
            “I think it might be more interesting than Spanish. Languages are very interesting.”  
            “Yeah, what is it you speak? Farsi?”  
            “Hindi, actually. But I only know a few phrases.”  
            “Huh,” Vriska muttered. It seemed obscure. Kanaya didn’t say anything for a moment, and then the bell rang, and it was time to head off to class. Kanaya didn’t hesitate, either, moving down the hall immediately.  
            “Well, I really must be going!” Kanaya said as she started to leave.  
            “Yeah, see ya around,” Vriska answered, going the other way.

            Vriska’s first class of the day was geometry, and when she got in the classroom, she didn’t recognize anyone. Great, math first thing in the morning, AND she was alone. She took a seat pretty much in the middle of the room, and after a moment, she saw Karkat come in. God, he was such a grouch, but Vriska wasn’t sure whether she felt relieved or offended when he walked in and sat next to some blond asshole wearing sunglasses inside instead of next to her. Vriska’s lack of school supplies didn’t seem to be a problem, since it was just syllabus day, and she wound up mostly tuning the teacher out. When Vriska got to her second class, she saw more familiar faces walk in just after she sat down; Equius and Nepeta. She grinned at them.  
            “Oh, heyyyyyyyy, it’s the ambiguously dating duo.”  
            “Vriska, please,” Equius chided her. “Humorous insincerity is for pedantic children.”  
            Vriska rolled her eyes at him. “I know. You never make jokes. I was being sarcastic, you stooge!”  
            “That’s because you’re a little worse than me.”  
            There he went again with his societal standing upper class bullshit. “The fuck I am! Hey! Did you talk to Aradia at all yet?” she asked, specifically to antagonize him.  
            “Keep your voice down,” Equius hushed, his face turning pink.  
            The comment seemed to catch Nepeta’s attention, and it was no surprise. She loved romancey gossip. “Oooh, Equius, what’s this about Aradia?” Equius sighed, and Vriska just smiled, pleased with herself. Equius turned to address Nepeta.  
            “I may… have… a bit of a…”  
            “Do you have--!” Nepeta started, and then she lowered her voice. “Do you have a crush on Aradia?”  
            “Y-yes,” Equius answered as the two sat down. Vriska watched as Nepeta started doodling her ‘ships’ on a piece of paper. And of course she had Vriska/Tavros on the list. Vriska just sighed, resting her chin on her hand and vaguely looking forward as the teacher talked.

            Vriska made her way to the gym for her next class. She wasn’t exactly a fan of having PE in the middle of the day, but it was better than having it right after lunch, for sure. And even by the time third period started, it was only 11 in the morning. She hoped that meant it wouldn’t be too hot out most days. Once again, she found that she shared the class with Karkat, as well as Gamzee. Gamzee was actually a pretty tolerable guy, once she got past his stoner attitude.  
            “Hey Gam,” she said at the beginning of class. “How was your summer?”  
            “Aw motherfuck, sis, it was fuckin’ great. Got to spend a hell of a fuckin’ all great time with my bro.”  
            “Kurloz? Isn’t he into some trippy shit?”  
            “Fuck yeah! It’s all cool though, all motherfuckin’ cool.”  
            Vriska mostly just let Gamzee talk at her for a few minutes while Karkat was chatting up some dweeb with buck teeth and glasses. Okay, a kind of cute dweeb. Why _was_ Karkat chatting him up anyway? Vriska was gearing up to join them and at the very least, introduce herself, when the gym teacher started corralling all the students onto the bleachers and Karkat came back over, looking mildly embarrassed.

            Vriska’s last class before lunch was English, where she took a seat at the end of a row. Aradia came in and sat next to her, and Tavros on her other side. It was sure to make for an interesting class. At the other end of the row, a girl with bright green eyes and an overly chipper smile sat next to Tavros.  
            “Hi, I’m Jade!”  
            “H-hi, I’m Tavros.” Oh god. The way he was looking at her? So blatant. And something rose in Vriska’s stomach, some burning, angry feeling. Was she jealous? No, she couldn’t be jealous because she didn’t have a crush on Tavros. So why should she care if he was making heart eyes at Jade over there? It didn’t matter.

            After class, Vriska, Tavros, and Aradia went to go save a table for the rest of the group. Tavros parked his chair at the end of the table, and Aradia sat on the end of the bench, Vriska sitting at her other side.  
            “So, Aradia, how’s life?” she needled her.  
            Aradia took a moment to respond, despondency clear in her eyes. “Living with Damara is just peachy compared to you sometimes.”  
            “Whaaaaaaaat? I’m awesome and you know it.”  
            “Mhm, mhm, and I’m sure Tavros just loved being paralyzed from your ‘awesomeness’.”  
            That was the wrong thread to pick at, and Vriska just _knew_ Aradia said it to get a rise out of her. She scowled. “You can’t prove _shit,_ Droog. It was a freak accident and we all know it.” Aradia didn’t say anything, and her silence was only more infuriating. Vriska could feel her top about to blow, but before she could keep yelling, someone else came into the conversation.  
            “Scoot over, Serket.” Ah yes, the lispy asshat. Vriska turned her negative energy towards Sollux instead.  
            “You’re not the boss of me.”  
            “Vriska. Move,” he insisted. Vriska huffed.  
            “Ugh, _fiiiiiiiine.”_ She moved towards the middle of the table, letting Sollux sit next to Aradia. They were slowly joined by the rest of the group, filling out the rest of the table, and their conversations filled the air. Vriska stuck close to Terezi, for the most part, though Terezi seemed a bit distracted. Vriska glanced around the cafeteria for a moment, finding the same blond kid from her geometry class glancing towards their table. Which reminded her. “Did I tell you Karkat totally ignored me like first thing this morning? Sat next to some douchebag instead, like what am I, chopped liver?” Vriska said. Terezi didn’t answer, just having a puzzled expression on her face. “‘Rezi? Hey ‘Rezi! Are you listening to me?”  
            “What? No, I wasn’t, I’m trying to figure out who in this damn cafeteria is staring at me,” Terezi muttered. Vriska got up and started toting Terezi off towards their next class, Biology.  
            “Whaaaaaaaat? What do you mean?”  
            “You know when you can just _tell_ someone is looking at you?”  
            “Mhm, well, it was probably Karkat, to be honest.”  
            “Ha. Besides him.”  
            “Ya know, I did see some blond kid looking over at our table. He had shades on, though.”  
            “Hmm.”  
            “Why, were you wondering if it was someone specific?”  
            “I thought…” Terezi hesitated. “No. I just talked to this guy in my English class. He seemed cool.”  
            Vriska stopped walking for a moment, a grin spreading across her face. “Terezi, do you have a _cruuuuuuuush??”  
_             Terezi bumped her shoulder into Vriska, and they kept walking to class. “Ew, no, I just said he seemed cool. Can’t a girl want to make some new friends?”  
            “Aw, are you replacing me?” Vriska joked as she opened a classroom door, leading Terezi over to a lab station. “Anyway, speaking of boys, I hung out with Tavros last night.”  
            “Oh, really?”  
            “Yeah, I really just couldn’t deal with staying with my mom all night so I left after dinner. He was being all weird and awkward about letting me use his sweater, like isn’t that something you’re _supposed_ to offer the girl you’re interested in, or is that one of Karkat’s weird tropes? Whatever. He even fell out of his chair, what a lame ass. And then he mentioned something about school, and I just could not _believe_ Aranea didn’t remind me school started today. Fucking ridiculous, right? Like, and now I have absolutely no supplies, just like, one pen and some scratch paper, so now I’m gonna have to make Aranea, or worse, _Mom,_ take me shaopping today. Tavros offered me some extra stuff he had.” Vriska paused for a moment, glancing up towards the door as the kid with the glasses she’d seen in her PE class. He looked around, a little confused for a moment, and then approached her and Terezi.  
            “Hey, can I sit here?” he asked.  
            “Shit, dude, I’m not gonna stop you,” Vriska said, and then continued talking as he took the third stool. “Anyway, so I told him, ‘don’t be stupid, I don’t need your charity.’ Like, that boy is too nice for his own good, honestly.”  
            “And you’re too stubborn and ‘self-sufficient’ for your own good,” Terezi answered with a light smile.  
            “Wouldn’t have it any other way, though.” After another moment, Vriska glanced back at the boy, who very clearly was not following the conversation. “Oh, sorry, we’re being rude, aren’t we? I’m Vriska, this is my partner in crime, Terezi.”  
            “My name’s John!” His enthusiasm was cute. Actually, he was cute in general. It wouldn’t be all that bad having him as a lab partner.

            As Biology class ended, Terezi tapped Vriska on the shoulder. “Vris, where’s the geometry classroom?”  
            “What? Let me see your schedule.” Terezi handed it over, and Vriska studied it for a moment. “Mm. B34. I think it’s down this hallway to the left, past the second locker pavilion, and then… hm. I can’t remember exactly which room, but that’s definitely the B30s over there.”  
            “Okay. I’ll check the signs, then.”  
            Vriska waved John off as they all left the classroom, and then she headed to her last dreaded class of the day, Spanish. Again, there were more familiar faces in the classroom; this time, Sollux, Equius, and Nepeta. Vriska huffed and found a seat next to Sollux, only vaguely listening as he and Equius talked about their tech projects. What a couple of nerds. Frankly, the whole day had been kind of exhausting. She wasn’t exactly excited about school, but it kept her out of the house and away from her mom, so that was something, at least. It would certainly be easier to avoid her and just go to Terezi’s house after school instead of going home. At the very least, Terezi’s mom was fairly understanding. Actually, as much of a pain in the ass as school was, Vriska was a little relieved. But she still had to go shopping with Aranea. She let out a sigh as she headed back to the parking lot, not sure if she was looking forward to Freshman year, or dreading it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaahhhhhh so i still have a shit ton of real life stuff going on but also i have a lot of ideas about vriskas arc here so gonna write as much as i can and update frequently


	3. Intimidating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids start talking about Homecoming

 

        Vriska was by no means the biggest fan of school, but she was a fan of being out of the house, and she was a fan of keeping her mother off her back, so she often stayed late doing homework in the library or spontaneously spending the night at Terezi’s. And it wasn’t as if Vriska was dumb, either, but in middle school her grades had slipped, and it only led to her mother being more harsh on her, so she was actually trying to study hard. But this didn’t distract her from the fact that after several weeks of school, as they were preparing to flip the calendar to October, there was a sudden addition at their lunch table, and it started with a familiar voice.  
        “Hey, Karkat!” Vriska looked up to see John, along with three others, coming towards their table. Things just got interesting.  
        “I’m sorry, did I fucking invite you to sit here, Egbert?” Karkat growled at him.  
        “Oh fuck no, you three?” one of John’s friends said, looking pitifully at Tavros, Karkat, and Gamzee. “These are the pricks from my Spanish class.”  
        “Come on, Dave, Karkat isn’t so bad.”  
        “Whatever,” Dave grumbled. Karkat rolled his eyes, but they all shifted around a bit to accommodate the new additions to their lunch table. Vriska found herself really enjoying John’s company. Dave was tolerable as well, but while Vriska didn’t dislike either of the girls, whom she would later learn were named Rose and Jade, she didn’t find herself exactly getting along with them, either. The more they hung out together, the more Vriska found herself drawn to him. It also helped her Biology grade now that she, Terezi, and John were becoming better friends.  
        “Hey, Vriska!” John said one morning when Terezi was late to class. Vriska jumped a bit, then glanced at John. There was a nervous energy around him.  
        “John! What the hell. First of all, who told you you could just hasle me without warning like this? That’s not how this works!” God, they’d been friends for like a month; she figured he would know that by now.  
        “Why not?”  
        “Those are the rules. I get to bug you any time I feel like, and you have to sit there and take it like a chump.” She grinned at him, and he looked a little flustered, even though she was only teasing a little bit. “I am too busy to be fielding your nonsense at the drop of a hat. I have a ridiculous number of irons in the fire.”  
        “That’s dumb. I’m going to talk to you whenever I want!” Vriska’s smiled softened, coming to her more naturally, then. John’s face tinged pink, and he began thinking about his words more carefully. “Well, anyway, I… uhm. Have you seen the--!” John stammered. Vriska raised an eyebrow at him. What on Earth was he babbling about? John took a breath, preparing to try again, but Vriska’s attention was then occupied by Terezi, who’d just come into the classroom.  
        Truth be told, Vriska had been hoping he was going to ask her to the Homecoming dance, because obviously Tavros wasn’t going to. He didn’t have enough of a spine. Frankly, the fact that the dance was in about two weeks and neither of the boys Vriska was mildly crushing on had asked her yet was discouraging, and she wasn’t totally sure she wanted to talk about it. Maybe it was her; maybe she was just intimidating. But of course Feferi brought it up at lunch the next day. That rich princess never turned down an opportunity to socialize.  
        “Boys, who’re you all gonna ask? Or have you already?” Feferi asked. Vriska could have sworn John glanced at her in the lingering silence.  
        “I ain’t asking nobody, gonna go with my motherfuckin’ self and have a good time,” Gamzee said with a bit of a slur. God, how did anyone stand this kid? It was a good thing he wasn’t hoping to have a date, because it was highly unlikely anybody would say yes to him.  
        “O-oh,” Feferi answered, clearly being caught off guard by his nonchalant answer. “Um, what about you, Karkat?” Like she even needed to ask. Everyone knew who Karkat would want to ask. The question was whether or not he’d harness whatever amount of courage existed in that stubby little body.  
        “Don’t put me on the spot!” Karkat snipped at her. “What about you, princess? Who are you going with?”  
        “Oh, I already told Eridan I would go with him.” It was kind of amazing, how patient Feferi was. Eridan was such a thorn in the side, and Vriska knew from experience.  
        “Not worth the time,” she sneered, looking at Eridan. “He’s such a fucking pain; I can’t believe I ever dated him.”  
        “Because you were so fuckin’ peachy, right, Vris?!” he shouted back. Wow, someone was touchy today.  
        “Eridan, hush,” Feferi chided him. “He’s not so bad. Anyway… what about you, John?”  
        “I, uh…” John stammered, clearly embarrassed by the mere question. Vriska didn’t really know what to make of it. Rose interrupted.  
        “John and I will be attending together. He never got the nerve up to ask anyone, and neither did I,” she explained. Pretty clear Rose was a big lesbian, but why didn’t John manage to ask someone? It was a tad disheartening.  
        “‘S cool, bro,” Dave said. “I wasn’t gonna ask anyone to be my date either. I’m with Gamzee on that one.”  
        “As much fun as a date would be, I thought we could all just go as friends!” Jade added. Even if they paired off, they’d end up going as a group, so that wasn’t an unwarranted suggestion. “But I’m still curious; who would you ask, Tavros?” Vriska was suddenly invested in the conversation again.  
        “Uhm… I was going to ask… um… this girl, from English class. Uh, how about you, Equius?” Interesting. He was so quick to change the subject, and avoided actually answering. Vriska mulled it over. Maybe he was avoiding the subject because she was at the table. Maybe he was planning on asking Vriska; they were in the same English class, as he said. Of course ‘some girl from English class’ was code for Vriska; he was just too embarrassed to say it in front of her! Vriska let herself smile as the conversation continued.  
        “I was… going to ask someone,” Equius said. “But, if she says no I will go with Nepeta.”  
        “You butt! I’m your second choice?”  
        “I believed that was our arrangement…”  
        “Naw, it is. I’m just teasing.”

        If Vriska was honest with herself, the whole thing was a bit upsetting. She had been hoping that either Tavros or John was going to ask her to the dance, and she still thought Tavros would, but she was feeling a tad discouraged. She didn’t really know what to think of it, and was forced to ask Aranea for advice.  
        “Hey Aranea,” she asked at dinner (which their mother was thankfully absent for.)  
        “Hmm?” Aranea looked up at her.  
        “Did you ever feel like people were afraid of you? Like… intimidated?”  
        “Is this about Homecoming?”  
        “Yeah. There was this boy I wanted to ask me, but he didn’t, and Tavros is probably too afraid to. I kinda like both of them, and I think both of them like me, but I feel like they’re scared of me.”  
        “To be honest, Vriska, I have the opposite problem as you. People notice you and they get worried you’ll reject them or tear them down with your words. I spent two and a half years going completely unnoticed. Nobody was worried about me rejecting them because nobody even knew I existed.”  
        “Well you have Meenah now,” Vriska said, slurping her noodles. Aranea glanced down at her plate.  
        “Yes, well, I suppose that’s true. I feel like we’re growing apart, though.”  
        “What do you mean?”  
        “I mean I’m preparing to graduate and go to college and I’ll be gaining all this responsibility as an adult, and her only plan is to flee away from hers.”  
        “Figures. I mean, as far as I can tell, Feferi doesn’t want anything to do with the company either. Isn’t Miss Peixes like super-brutal in terms of corporations?”  
        “See, that’s the thing I don’t get. Meenah _idolizes_ her mother. But she doesn’t want the company. I think she wants to prove she’s as big a ‘badass’ as Candace is. Which leaves everything to Feferi, who is clearly much kinder than anyone in her family, and would either have to become ruthless, or change an entire corporation’s policies. I don’t get why Meenah’s solution is to run away…” Aranea’s voice trailed.  
        “Great, so anyway any advice for me?”  
        “My advice is to not worry about it. Look, Vris, you have a… a big personality. And if guys can’t deal with that, then they’re not the guy for you. You shouldn’t have to change who you are.”  
        “You know what, Aranea, for once, you’re right,” Vriska said, grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi so I fully meant to write this sooner but we had a death in the family right before my spring break so I was dealing with that while I was home and then the first week of the quarter was a whole readjustment thing with a new schedule but uh that new sched is actually keeping me out of depressive phases so far??? Anyway tmi about my personal life but yeah


	4. Going Stag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming is coming up, and Vriska worries about having a date.

            Vriska was trying not to be discouraged by the fact that Tavros still didn’t ask her out the next day, and she would be forced to endure the weekend wondering if she’d be that sad sack who went alone. She knew it shouldn’t matter that much; she knew it was dumb to let a guy define her, but she wanted a relationship just as much as any other high school girl. So of course when she hung out with Terezi over the weekend, the dance was pretty much what they talked about. Terezi had just told Vriska about the nonsense between Dave and Karkat, and it all sounded like a load of nonsense.  
            “So you just ended up asking Karkat to the dance?” Vriska asked. Terezi just shrugged at her and Vriska took a long drink through her straw.  
            “Yeah, I mean the more I think about it, the more I don’t really want to get sucked into drama with Dave. And me asking Karkat was a preemptive strike. I made it perfectly clear that this was not a romantic gesture, okay?”  
            “Alright, geez. You don’t have to get so defensive.”  
            “Sorry.” Honestly, Vriska had her doubts, but whatever, Terezi was entitled to make her own decisions.  
            “Well, whatever. Watch us all end up going as a group anyway. Hey, we should go dress shopping together, Ter. I gotta find something to match with Tavros, and it’s either I go with you or I go with Aranea.”  
            “Uh, not to be a buzzkill, Vris, but… did Tavros even ask you to the dance?” Vriska scowled.  
            “Well, not exactly, but you saw how embarrassed he was when Feferi asked! Come on, you know ‘some girl in my English class’ is code for ‘Vriska’.”  
            “I guess you two do have a history,” Terezi said, but Vriska could tell she didn’t really believe it.  
            “What’re you two talking about?” Terezi’s mother asked as she came into the house with Latula. Vriska looked over her shoulder. The Pyropes were always so nice to her.  
            “Homecoming. Thanks for the drive-thru, by the way,” she said.  
            “Oh, no problem. Are you sleeping over tonight, Vriska?” Well, if they were offering, it would sure be better than going home.  
            “Yeah, I think I’m staying tonight.”  
            “Do you guys want to go dress shopping for Homecoming tomorrow?” Latula asked, seeming excited about the idea. “My dress from last year doesn’t fit anymore.”  
            “Yeah!” Vriska grinned at Latula. “I was just suggesting the same thing to Terezi.” Vriska could tell Terezi was the slightest bit put off by it. Even before she lost her eyesight, she wasn’t one to shop, and Vriska had always found this slightly annoying only because she liked to loiter at the mall and _maybe_ buy things on occasion. At any rate, the three girls found themselves at the mall the next day and Terezi was clearly not interested, paying more attention to what her phone was telling her. Whatever. Vriska busied herself by looking at the dresses, drawn mostly towards the blue ones. It wasn’t long before she saw one she absolutely _loved._ It was a rich cerulean color, made with sanded satin, and had a v-neck cut with a skirt that flared out at the waist and went down to about her knees. At the bottom was some black lace in a design that almost looked like spider webs, and if that wasn’t the dress for Vriska, she didn’t know what would be. She picked it up, a wide smile on her face, and darted back towards Terezi, grabbing her shoulders.  
            “Ter, what do you think of this one?” Terezi grabbed at the skirt and ran her thumb over the fabric, then made an approving face.  
            “What’s the neckline?” Terezi asked after a moment.  
            “V-neck. Not too plunging,” Vriska answered, holding the dress up to herself and examining it in a nearby mirror.  
            “I’m sure it looks great.”  
            “Aw, thanks! So what about you?”  
            “What?”  
            “Aren’t you going to pick out a dress?” Vriska asked. There was silence for a moment. Vriska turned, looking at where Terezi had just been, but she wasn’t there, lost in the sea of dresses.  
            “Vriska, Vriska come here!” Terezi called, and Vriska followed her voice to the rack where she was looking. It was a teal and red dress with a sweetheart neckline, and it was heavily adorned with bad rhinestones and jewels. “I’m gonna get this one,” Terezi said.  
            “Terezi, that thing is tacky as _fuck.”  
_             “I _know,_ that’s why it’s so great.” Vriska shook her head at Terezi. She’d never understand why Terezi was like that. She always wore these gaudy dragon t-shirts and obnoxious tie-dye nonsense. It was none of Vriska’s business, but Kanaya made comments about being unfashionable and such. It was kind of funny, actually.

            The rest of the weekend was not as fun, as Vriska went back to her house and tried to just make it through to Monday morning through her mother’s incessant complaints about how she didn’t pull her weight and how Vriska owed her for 14 years of food and housing. And Vriska just bit her tongue. The last time she’d tried to point out that that was the bare minimum of responsibilities she had to her as a parent, she got locked in her room for the whole day. It honestly wasn’t worth fighting. Someday, she’d get out of her mother’s house and prove she was so much more than what her mom thought of her. The only significant thing that happened was Feferi messaging her to ask about getting everyone together before the dance.  
            And then, on Monday, 4th period rolled around, and of course Vriska was sure that Tavros was going to ask her to the dance. He wheeled into English class clutching one sad flower in his hand, and set it down on Jade’s desk. Vriska quirked an eyebrow upward, watching him.  
            “What the hell is that for?” she asked.  
            “Oh, um, I was asking--”  
            “Asking what?” Vriska looked up at Jade as she entered the room. “Oh, a flower! How cute! What were you saying, Tavros?”  
            “Oh, uh, nothing… the flower was from me.”  
            “Thanks, Tavros!” Vriska was frowning throughout this entire exchange. She huffed and crossed her arms, sinking in her seat a bit. She couldn’t help but feel a little betrayed. For the last year-- since she and Eridan broke up, and even _before_ then-- Vriska and Tavros had been in a flirtationship, a back-and-forth, on-again-off-again thing, and the only reason they hadn’t been an official couple was because Tavros never got the courage to ask her out. But now he could ask Jade on a date less than two months after meeting her?  
            “Yeah, I… uh… I was wondering…” Tavros stammered. Typical Tavros; couldn’t even get a sentence out without tripping over his words. “Well, if you wanted to go to, um… Feferi’s having a get-together before Homecoming… would you want to go, um. With m… um. Yeah.”  
            “That sounds fun! I’d love to join you guys. Pictures, right?”  
            “Um… yeah!” It was a little funny how pathetically unsure of himself Tavros was.  
            “Oh, but I was supposed to be going with Dave and John and Rose. COuld they come too?” And there it was. Tav clearly hadn’t realized Jade didn’t take this as an opportunity for a date, and when she asked about her friends, Jade completely shattered him. His face dropped.  
            “Pr-probably, I would ask Feferi.”  
            “Okay, cool! It’ll be one cool group thing!” Tavros didn’t say a word through the rest of class. Vriska paid more attention to her work until they got out of class, her and Tavros heading towards the cafeteria together.  
            “Were you trying to ask her out back there?” she asked, grinning at him. Tavros nodded, looking morose. “Hahahahahahahaha, oh my _god,_ that was pathetic. Even by your standards. Absolutely priceless.”  
            “It was… kind of supposed to be a private conversation.”  
            “Tavros, your stupidity surprises me sometimes. You asked her out right in front of me, 5 minutes before class!”  
            “Uh, oops.”  
            “It was embarrassing just to watch, honestly.” Vriska smiled to herself. It was definitely satisfying seeing Tav flounder like that. Being around John during lunch and Biology, though, made Vriska forget about it, at least for a little while, until Gamzee reminded her as they walked towards the parking lot together.  
            “Hey, sis, Tav make his motherfuckin’ move today?”  
            Vriska snorted a laugh. “Ha. Yeah. He totally struggled through the whole thing. But it’s all good, he and I are going.”  
            “That’s motherfuckin’ sweet.”

            When she got home, Vriska messaged Terezi about the whole thing.

 

arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AG: Holy shit, Ter,  
AG: You’re never gonna believe what Tavros pulled.  
GC: God can’t you leave that poor boy alone.  
GC: What now  
AG: LOL, he totally embarrassed himself trying to ask Jade to the dance.  
GC: I thought you said he was going to ask you.

             Vriska pursed her lips. Yeah, she’d been a tad upset that Tavros didn’t ask her, but she knew he knew how great they were together. Of course they’d end up going together.

 AG: Yeah well  
AG: It’s cool with me if he wanted to go with Jade  
AG: Not like she’d give him a chance anyway  
AG: And like I said, it sounds like Fef is hosting some big group thing  
AG: So everyone’s gonna pair off and of course Tavros is going to gravitate back towards me  
GC: Wait so what did Jade say?  
AG: Oh it was this huge dorky misunderstanding  
GC: Okay so what are even these “pairings”?  
GC: Do you know?  
AG: Tav and me, you and Kar, Fef and Eridan…  
GC: Sollux and Aradia  
AG: Oh Jesus Christ are those two going to get their shit together?  
GC: I don’t know, hopefully.  
AG: Anyway  
AG: Nepeta and Equius  
GC: Which leaves Kanaya and Gamzee  
GC: Which is NOT a thing that is going to happen  
AG: Yeah, I mean it’s gonna be like anything else; it’s going to be weird and awkward and someone’s feelings are going to get hurt because this is HIGH SCHOOL and there can’t be one night where we all have a good time without some kind of disaster  
GC: Ya know  
GC: I hate that you’re right.  
GC: But we can make the best of it.  
AG: Ha, sure  
AG: Sounds like something Fef would say  
GC: Ugh so cynical >:P  
AG: As if you’re not just as cynical as I am!  
GC: I am not cynical, I am realistic  
AG: Pfffffffft, whatever  
AG: See ya later, Scourge Sis

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]

 

           Vriska let out a long sigh. She knew it was going to be a long week. It was only Monday, and she just had to get through to Saturday for the dance. But she was resilient, and once it hit the weekend again, Vriska was excited. It was rare that they actually got the whole group to hang out together outside of school, so she got ready on Saturday fairly quickly, and wound up waiting around for Aranea for a while before they left to go to the Peixes’s. Feferi greeted her excitedly, which Vriska thought was a little bit weird since they weren’t particularly close, but Vriska wasn’t going to bat an eye. This was going to be a fun night. She was with her friends, she didn’t have to worry about her mom or her sister or any drama-- hopefully. And then she saw Tavros come in, smiling a bit sheepishly at the crowd. Vriska frowned deeply at him.  
          “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked him, approaching before he could join the others.  
          “What?” he glanced at her, clearly befuddled.  
          “You’re wearing brown! You were supposed to match my dress, you dolt.”  
          “Um..”  
          “Honestly, you can’t even buy the right shirt.”  
          “Sorry, but, uh, I’m not entirely sure where you got the idea that, um, we were going together,” Tavros said. Vriska faltered. Hadn’t he…  
          “I...uh…” Vriska, for once, didn’t have anything to say to him. Her mind was drawing a complete blank and the whole thing was mildly embarrassing, even if nobody else was privy to the conversation. She felt her face flush.  
          “But. Um… I can still be your date, if you want.” No. Too little, too late. She didn’t need his pity.  
          “No… that’s okay, Tavros,” Vriska said, as she prepared to join the rest of the group. Why was everything so messed up between them? And then she heard the door open again behind her, and John, Dave, Rose, and Jade came into the backyard. Vriska lit up again seeing John. “Hi, John,” she smiled at him.  
          “Hey Vriska!”  
          They all headed over to the rest of the group on the lawn and took some pictures, and then went to dinner and then to the dance, and despite the awkward start the night had gotten of to, Vriska had a good time. She danced with Tavros, and she danced with Terezi, and with Eridan and Equius, and with everyone else as a group, but there was one person who hadn’t joined her yet, and she was beginning to wonder if she’d simply misread some signals. Just as Vriska was beginning to doubt herself, she saw John walking towards her on the dance floor, looking a little nervous.  
           “Hey, Vris...wanna dance?” he asked. She looked at him blankly, more than a little caught off guard, and then she slowly smiled.  
           “Christ, John, I thought you’d never ask.” She grabbed his hand and they started dancing, both laughing together. That pretty much solidified it. Vriska had a crush on the huge dork, John Egbert.

 


	5. Tangled Up In You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska interferes at the Halloween party

            It seemed Vriska was not the only one with a crush, as Equius messaged her about such not long after Homecoming.

 

centaursTesticle [CT] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

CT: Vriska.  
AG: Whaaaaaaaat?  
AG: Also Christ you really do need to change your username.  
AG: It sounds like an 11 year old made it and was trying to be crass for no reason other than “wow bad words are funny”.  
CT: I WAS 11 when I made it.  
CT: What’s wrong with it anyway?  
AG: Uh  
AG: Nevermind.  
AG: What do you want?  
CT: I am asking for you to finally repay that favor.  
AG: Ughhhhhhhh.  
AG: If I say yes, will you stop holding this “favor” over my head?  
CT: Yes.  
AG: Then yes.  
AG: What do you want me to do?  
CT: I…  
CT: I don’t know specifically.  
AG: Then I can’t help you, horse-for-brains.  
CT: I just want you to manufacture a way for Aradia and I to be alone.  
AG: Okaaaaaaaay.  
AG: I guess I’ll try to keep an eye out for an opportunity.  
AG: Hard for me to really do anything about it at school.  
CT: I see.  
CT: Very well.  
CT: I will speak to you more about this later.

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased pestering  arachnidsGrip [AG]

AG: God, you’re so weird.

            Things were normal, or at least as close as things got to normal for Vriska—her mom being a pain and Aranea being obnoxious—for about a week, the only change being her and John exchanging looks. Vriska tried to ignore it, especially since it wasn’t as if he were actively pursuing her, but she found it difficult to. It wasn’t as if she got crushes very often. Except for whatever unresolved feelings were between her and Tavros, and those had been ledt unresolved for a while. Vriska couldn’t help but think about this during a particularly awkward exchange between Jade and Tavros, when the English teacher asked them to read the balcony scene in _Romeo and Juliet._ Vriska felt the smallest twinge of jealousy when Tavros started speaking.  
            “But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Ja- Juliet is the sun.” Vriska laughed a bit. “Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief.” Vriska kept an eye on Tavros while he spoke, and while Jade spoke as well.  
            “O, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or, if thou wilt not be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet.” The look on Tavros’ face told Vriska enough—he’d said something to Jade, and it hadn’t gone well. That was…well, it was oddly satisfying.  
            Despite all this, the main thing on Vriska’s mind was still the deal she’d made with Equius, and she was keeping a lookout for an opportunity to help him out, albeit a bit begrudgingly. Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait too long. And surprisingly, Tavros was the one to present the solution.  
            “Hey, guys, my parents are out of town, so I was thinking of, having a Halloween part, at my house maybe?”  
                Vriska couldn’t help but laugh. Tavros was such a goody-two-shoes, even when his parents _were_ out. And it didn’t help that he was usually still being watched by the neighbors. “That’s ballsy, Tavros. What happens if you get in trouble?”  
            “Ummmm, I don’t know,” Tavros admitted, looking away. “Rufioh’s in charge.”  
            “Ohhhhhhhh, no nosey neighbor babysitting this time?”  
            “I haven’t seen Mr. Boxcars around the last couple days. I think it should be fine.”  
            Vriska started to say something, but Terezi nudged her with her knee, and Vriska closed her mouth. “That sounds really fun, Tavros,” Terezi answered instead. Vriska frowned. She knew Terezi was saying it mostly to get her to stop harassing Tav. “It’s been a while since we all had a party.”  
            “I’ve been meaning to host more!” Feferi said. “I think the holiday season will be better for parties at my house.”  
            “Th- that’s okay, Fef, you shouldn’t have to host all the time. So, yeah, you guys are all invited over for Halloween.”  
            “Halloween sucks, though,” Sollux murmured, and then amended the statement after a nudge from Feferi. “Ah-- fine. Sounds like a plan then.”  
            “Yeah?” Tavros asked with a grin. Then, with the knowledge there was a party coming up, Vriska started thinking. It would actually be _perfect_ for getting Equius and Aradia alone. All she had to do was get everyone involved in a game of “Seven Minutes in Heaven”, and skew the results in Equius’ favor. Easy peasy. Sure, it would suck for Sollux, who had a painfully obvious crush on Aradia, but he’d been holding on to that for years without doing anything. Vriska was going to move things along one way or the other. And then there was John. Maybe if she got more than one round going, she could… well, he and the others hadn’t even said much about even _going_ to the party. Vriska messaged him after school that day.

 

arachnidsGrip [AG]  began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

AG: Joooooooo  
AG: oooooooo  
AG: oooooooo  
AG: oooooooo  
AG: oooooooo  
AG: oooooooo  
AG: oooooooo  
AG: oooooooohn.  
EB: wow, that is a lot of ‘o’s  
EB: i am reading that like a really long ‘june’  
AG: It is eight groups of eight. I specifically counted them out.  
AG: It’s sort of a thing I do.  
EB: you typed my name in 64bit  
AG: Wow. What a nerd!  
EB: hey!  
AG: Anyway, John, there was something very important I wanted to ask you.  
EB: oh, what’s that?  
AG: Are you going to Tavdork’s party?  
EB: umm, yeah i think so!  
AG: Oh! Cause you never said anything at lunch today.  
EB: i mean jade and rose and dave and i didn’t have any plans so i don’t see why we wouldn’t go!  
AG: Okay, cool!  
EB: why did you ask?  
AG: Just wanted to see if it was worth my time.  
EB: so you wouldn’t go if i wasn’t?  
AG: I don’t know, I’d probably give it more of a second thought.  
AG: Tavros and I don’t have the best history.  
EB: what do you mean?

         Vriska sort of regretted mentioning it. It was too complicated to explain, really.

  AG: Well, there’s some messy stuff in a lot of my friendships, actually.  
AG: But let’s not get into that right now.  
AG: See you Monday :::;)

arachnidsGrip [AG]  has ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

            Vriska grinned at the last message. This could certainly go somewhere, with her and John.

            Another week went by, and then it was Halloween, and Vriska was packing her overnight bag. As she put her costume on and prepared to leave, she was, of course, confronted by her mother.  
            “Vriska, where’re you goin’?”  
            “I’m going to Tavros’ for the Halloween party, god. I told you about this days ago.”  
            “Yeah, you gonna be gone all night?”  
            “ _Yes,_ Mom, it’s a _sleepover_.”  
            “Well don’t you disappear on me unless you want me to call the cops.”  
            “Yeah right. As if you’d give enough of a shit to even consider me ‘missing’.”  
            “What was that?”  
            “What? Nothing. I’ll be back tomorrow,” Vriska said, slinking out the door before she could ask any more questions. God. _God,_ why was her mother like that? She hated it. Aranea was waiting in the car already, and then they drove off to pick up Terezi.  
            “I take it the glorious pirate Mindfang has joined us?” Terezi asked, as she climbed into the back seat.  
            “She sure has. And I see you’re donning the ol’ cop deal.”  
            “So off to the Nitrams, then?” Aranea asked. “It’s kind of a shame Rufioh’s busy, I know Horuss is bummed they’re not spending Halloween together.”  
            Vriska rolled her eyes at her sister. “Oh my _God,_ I really don’t care about your friends’ terrible relationships. Actually, I wouldn’t mind it if Rufioh were single, he’s kind of attractive. Like a confident Tavros.” Vriska disregarded Aranea’s glare.  
            “Ignoring the fact that you’re my sister, speaking about someone my age, I’m inclined to agree. He always was ‘the hot one’ of the group.”  
            Vriska didn’t have a response to that. It was odd that Aranea and Vriska would agree on something; she thought for sure Aranea would have objected to that and cited Meenah as being more attractive. They _were_ dating, after all, and Aranea didn’t have great taste on the male side of things.

 

            Vriska and Terezi were among the first to arrive, and while the place looked nice, there certainly wasn’t a lot of excitement going on. Perfect; Vriska could _definitely_ help Equius out, and it would spice up the party. But first she had to consult with him. Vriska went poking around the kitchen in search of Equius, and found him exactly there.  
            “Hey Eq, I think I have a solution to your problem,” she said, kind of marveling at the fact that Nepeta wasn’t hanging around with him.  
            “What do you mean?”  
            “Well, we’re at a party, right? Suffice to say, I’ve engineered a party game.”  
            “I…”  
            “Equius!!” And _there_ was Nepeta. Vriksa figured it was best to put a paused on the conversation.  
            “Don’t worry, Zahhak, I got it covered,” Vriska said, before heading back over to Terezi. “Hey Ter, wanna help me set up a game?” Vriska asked. Terezi raised an eyebrow at her, clearly suspicious of the motives.  
            “What kind of game?”  
            “Seven Minutes in Heaven. All I need you to do is write all the boys’ names down and I will put them in your hat. And we can use my hat for the girls.”  
            “How exactly do you expect me to do much writing?”  
            “Oh, duh. Color me embarrassed. Just give me your hat, then.” Vriska, of course, hadn’t actually forgotten, she just knew that it would be more suspicious if she didn’t ask anyone else about the game. She was also planning on having someone else read off the girl’s name, just to keep suspicion off her, but all of them said “Aradia”, so it wouldn’t matter. Not that anyone could even keep up with her cunning. As she wrote the names down, Terezi continued the conversation.  
            "So what's going on with you and Tavros and John?"  
            "I dunno, just kind of seeing what happens, I guess. John is sweet."  
            "So... you're just still messing with Tavros, then."  
            "No! Besides, I don't know why you're always on my case, it's not like I'm just stringing him along," Vriska said, defensively.  
            "That's exactly what you're doing! Your unresolved feelings are fucking over not one, but two guys."  
            "You're one to talk, your nonsense with Dave and Karkat is ridiculous."  
            "I am not leading either of them on. I have been clear with Karkat: I don't have romantic feelings for him. And I don't have any romantic feelings for Dave, either. Whatever Karkat has complained about, he's just projecting. I think  _he_ has feelings for Dave, but far be it from me to suggest that to him. It would just send him into one of his patented shitfits." Vriska ignored the hypocrisy, her eyes flitting over to Kanaya appearing in the corner of the room.   
            "Hey Maryam, having fun being a nosy busybody?"  
            "What?" Kanaya asked.  
            "You, standing there eavesdropping?"  
            "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize standing in a room at a party we were both invited to constitutes eavesdropping."  
            "Vriska, she wasn't doing anything. Leave it alone," Terezi muttered. Vriska was already set on edge from her allegations about leading Tavros on, so she got a little snippy.  
            "Stop acting like you can tell me what to do, Terezi. Anyway, enough bickering. Let's get this stupid game started."  
            "This 'stupid game' was your idea," Terezi murmured. Vriska got everyone’s attention by turning the music down.  
            “Hey losers! Come on, we’re starting another game in here.” As people started shifting into the room, Vriska grinned. It was a bit upsetting that John hadn’t shown up yet, but still, she wasn’t going to let that ruin her night. Sollux and Karkat were still outside, though. “Hey, get those two dipshits in here,” Vriska told Terezi. At last, Vriska had managed to get the whole group in one place. Good. Nobody could deny this or be weirded out by Equius’ sudden interest in Aradia, much like Vriska herself was. As she began to start, the front door opened. Vriska’s eyes flitted upwards to see John, Rose, Dave, and Jade letting themselves in. “John!” Vriska said, darting over to give him a tight hug. “You’re just in time; we’re playing 7 Minutes in Heaven.”  
            “Oh, okay,” John muttered, tugging Dave into place.  
            “Vriska, please, this is so ridiculous,” Sollux said from the other side of the room.                        “Besides, what the fuck has this got to do with Halloween?”  
            “Shut your lispy mouth, asshat,” Vriska snipped. “You don’t have to play, but there’s always the chance for some alone time with the freaky girl of your dreams.” It was honestly baffling how there were now _two_ guys thirsting after Aradia. “I have taken the liberty of putting all the ladies’ names into this hat, and all the boys’ into Terezi’s. Tavros, if you would do the honors?” Vriska held her hat out towards Tavros, and smirked as he plucked a paper out, knowing full well the name he was about to read. “Um, Aradia…?” Vriska quickly moved Aradia towards the closet.  
            “Wait, what?” Aradia asked.  
            “Don’t worry, Miss Droog, your man will be joining you shortly,” Vriska said, closing the door behind Aradia. Then, she returned to the crowd and took the other slip of paper out of Terezi’s hat. It read _Sollux._ Fuck that! She crumpled it up.  
            “And our lucky guy is… Equius Zahhak!” Equius looked at her, mildly embarrassed, and then followed Vriska’s lead towards the closet. “I told you I had it under control,” Vriska whispered in his ear. She returned to the group, waiting in an awkward silence for Equius and Aradia to come out. But the crowd somewhat dissipated, and right as Equius and Aradia emerged from the closet, Tavros grabbed Vriska’s wrist.  
            “Vriska… can I talk to you for a minute outside?”  
            “Oh—yeah, I guess.” She didn’t hesitate, heading out the front door with Tavros.  
            “Um. Vriska. Why do all these slips have the same name on them?”  
            “Oh, that? Ha! Just playing a little prank on Aradia, no big deal.”  
            “You’re… toying with someone’s emotions as a joke. It, um, it kind of is? A big deal?”  
            “Well it’s not gonna _be_ a big deal unless someone tells, right?” Who did Tavros think he was, trying to come off like he was better than her? He muttered something under his breath so quietly that Vriska honestly didn’t even catch what he said. “Sorry, what was that?”  
            “Uh… I don’t think you should really be doing things like that. It’s mean.”  
            “And I suppose you’re gonna be the one to stop me?”  
            “Well, uh, I mean… no, but…” Figures. Even when Tavros _knew_ he would be doing the right thing, he couldn’t stand up for himself, _or_ for others. It was so weak, honestly.  
            “Then it doesn’t matter. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go have fun at the party and not be a total wet blanket.” Vriska shoved past Tavros and went back inside, disregarding Tavros’ words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof been a while since i posted a chapter
> 
> EDIT: realized i totally neglected a portion of the conversation between Vriska and Terezi so added that back in


	6. Morality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska gets introspective

            The party seemed more subdued after that. Karkat was lying on the couch, John and his crew were sitting at the kitchen table, Sollux and Feferi were nowhere to be found, and Gamzee was outside smoking, with everyone else scattered off in small groups, so Vriska found it a bit difficult to get Tav’s words out of her mind. And then they just watched a movie, and Vriska found the whole thing so predictable and boring that she couldn’t even focus on it (or maybe it was because she was paying more attention to John’s face), so naturally she got introspective. Was she really as bad a person as people thought she was? Was it really wrong of her to paralyze Tavros? She never _meant_ to hurt him so bad, but she definitely meant to push him down the stairs. Even when she was a kid, she kind of did fucked up things. Like back when Aradia’s mom died, she was the one who gave Sollux the ouija board, and according to him, that was when he _and_ Aradia started having all those weird thoughts about death and ‘hearing voices’, and Vriska didn’t fully understand the implications of that, or even if it was true, but they were certainly fucked in the head, and she had given it to him with the hopes that _some_ kind of creepy shit would happen to them. Was it wrong that even when she was, like, 8, she had this sort of anger, and took these scheming actions to hurt people that were supposed to be her friends? She never meant for things to be as bad as they turned out to be, but she didn’t really hold a lot of remorse for it either. And then there was what had probably turned out to be the worst mistake Vriska made as a kid, and that was blinding Terezi out of petty anger. Even though she’d felt like Terezi deserved it at the time. It was a retort to the whole arm thing, but even that was just a retort to the Tavros thing. God, Vriska hated the whole situation regarding her prosthetic arm. Sure, it _worked,_ but it only worked half as well as it did because of Equius. Vriska remembered the day of the accident very well.

 

            Vriska and Terezi were spending the afternoon in Terezi’s treehouse. It was just as they were finishing seventh grade, not too long after Tavros’ accident. He was still out of school recovering as much as he could, even, and he’d told Vriska it wasn’t her fault and he wasn’t going to tell anyone, but Vriska kind of knew she was responsible, and some of the other friends were blaming her as well. But Vriska never imagined Terezi would turn her back on her, so she didn’t think twice about the invitation to hang out. Terezi’s house was always more pleasant than Vriska’s anyway. So they climbed up to the treehouse.  
            “Ugh, I can’t believe we haven’t played D&D in like, a month and a half,” Vriska complained. “Why’d you have to cancel all the sessions?”  
            “Because one of our players is in the hospital?”  
            “He could call in; it would be fine.” Terezi looked away from Vriska. “Or we could be doing one-offs.”

            “I just feel bad for him; he wouldn’t say anything but I just know he’d be bummed out if we kept playing without him.” Though Vriska wouldn’t admit it, she was only complaining about it because she missed having Tavros around. She was starting to think they might be more than just friends.   
            “When is he supposed to be back, anyway?”  
            “Dunno, you talk to him more than I do,” Terezi said, her voice sounding grave. Vriska felt a surge of confusion as Terezi paced around the treehouse a bit. “Funny how that is. You were there when he fell.”  
            “Yeah… it was… kind of brutal.”  
            “I just never thought you liked Tavros that much; why is it you’re talking to him more that he’s in the hospital? Could it be that you have a guilty conscience?” Terezi said, looking up at Terezi. “Or is it that you want to get closer now that you and Eridan broke up? Or some kind of combination?”  
            Vriska’s eyes widened. She understood why Terezi wanted to hang out; she was trying to come up with some truth of the matter. And now, she was blocking the exit. All Vriska wanted to do was get out; she didn’t want to be interrogated; she didn’t want to sit there and explain. “Vriska, something happened after everyone else left, and no matter what Tavros says, I don’t believe it was an accident. I think your temper got the better of you; I think you pushed Tavros down the stairs, because you were angry or frustrated, because you like him more than you liked Eridan. That’s why you cut Eridan loose. That’s why you’re talking to Tavros more.”  
            “It’s not like that, Ter, come on.”  
            “Then what happened? He won’t tell me anything besides ‘I fell’, and we all know that’s a load of shit.”  
            “So? I was there too, he fell!”  
            “I think he’s covering for you, because he’s too nice, and too confused about his feelings.”  
            “I-- I--”  
            “Tell me, Vriska, did you push Tavros down the stairs?!”  
            Vriska did the only thing she could think of alternative to answering the question; she went out the window of the treehouse, trying to make her way down the branches. Terezi stuck her head out the window as Vriska wobbled on the branch, just out of reach. She examined the tree; she was way too high off the ground to make a jump for it. There was another branch a bit out of reach. “Vriska!” Vriska slid down the branch she was on, until she was holding on with both hands rather than standing up, and she heard a crack.   
            “Oh shit,” she muttered, sidling back towards the treehouse. “Ter, pull me back in.”  
            “Did you push him?” Terezi insisted, demanding an answer.  
            “Ter! Pull me in!”  
            “Only if you tell me the truth!”  
            “Okay, fine, I--”   
            The branch snapped. Vriska tumbled down, crashing into another branch on the way down and collapsing on Terezi’s back lawn. There was a huge amount of pain in her upper arm, and her left eye was bleeding profusely. The rest of the afternoon was hazy. Vriska remembered Mrs. Pyrope getting her into the car and to the hospital, and some doctors looking over her. Turns out during the fall she pretty much gouged her eye out, and had gotten a rather large portion of the branch impaling her shoulder. They ended up taking her arm off to decrease the risk of sepsis, since it wasn’t as if the tree was very _clean._ After a point, Vriska’s mom showed up, and they offered the option of a glass eye, so Vriska could at least _look_ like a normal human being, but her mother’s response was, “No, we don’t need it. Maybe it’ll teach her some kind of lesson.” It was at that point in her life that Vriska truly began to understand how cruel her mother actually was, and when she stopped caring nearly as much about the consequences of her actions. Maybe if she pushed her friends more, they’d get tougher. Especially Tavros. He was such a pushover. She would teach him to stand up for himself.

 

            It hadn’t even been two years, and Vriska hadn’t exactly been soft before then, either, but she became especially guarded about her romantic feelings, since Terezi had been able to read her so easily. So the reason she let herself feel disappointed when John and his crew left early was something of a mystery. Vriska pushed all these thought out of her head as she went to sleep that night.

            Latula came to pick up Vriska and Terezi in the morning, Vriska trying not to think about all the heavy bits of conversation that had happened the night before. But of course Terezi had to say something.  
            “So what were you talking to Tavros about?” she asked. Vriska sat up a bit more.  
            “Huh?”  
            “Last night. You two went into the front. What were you talking to him about?”  
            “Oh,” Vriska said, then she laughed a bit. She thought Terezi wanted to ask her about feelings or some junk. But the whole thing with Tavros was laughable; kind of funny, the way he tried to tell her what to do. “So get this; that whole thing? Was rigged.” Vriska had no qualms about telling Terezi; they were best friends; they both sort of enjoyed messing with people. So Terezi’s expression of surprise wasn’t exactly what Vriska had expected. She kept talking, thinking she could explain it away. “Equius asked me if I could help get him a chance with Aradia, and I kinda owed him a favor for the whole… you know. Arm thing. So I kinda cheated.”   
            Terezi was quiet for a moment. “Wait, so you made it so those two were in there on purpose? And Tavros was… what, calling you out?”  
            “Heh, yeah. Thinks he has some kind of authority over me or something.”  
            “Well he was right to call you out, you know.”  
            Vriska scoffed. “You can’t _seriously_ tell me you’re on his side with this.”  
            “Yes! I am! Vriska, you can’t keep messing with peoples’ emotions like this. You wonder why none of our friends like you, it’s because you pull this kind of shit _constantly_. And I’ve tried so hard to defend you, to justify your actions so I don’t feel guilty about defending you, and the more I think about things, the more I think I’m kind of done with you. Karkat tried to tell me for so long, but I didn’t get it. But he’s right. You’re danferous, and I think I’m done.”  
            Vriska was dumbfounded for a moment, the three girls all silent as Latula pulled into Vriska’s driveway. Then, Vriska got angry. How could Terezi betray her like that? “You know what, Terezi? Fine. If you don’t think I’m tolerable, or worth being around, or _whatever,_ then FINE. I don’t need to be a good person and I don’t need you to think that I’m ‘worth defending’. Terezi says I’m morally corrupt and a bad influence so it must be true! _Fiiiiiiiine!_ I’m done too!” Vriska grabbed her stuff and stormed off, slamming the car door behind her.


	7. Aranea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Aranea wants to do is leave her mother's house, but there are still some emotional connections.

            It wasn’t as if the first semester had been uneventful for the older Serket sister—quite the opposite. She’d broken up with her girlfriend over a difference in attitudes about their future after high school, and Aranea was furiously sending out college apps, eagerly anticipating her responses in the spring. She and Kankri Vantas were also in quite a close and contentious battle for valedictorian, despite the fact that she was basically the only person besides Porrim (his cousin) and Cronus (his boyfriend) that could tolerate Kankri. Friendship was not reason enough for Aranea to set aside her ambitions. And there was the matter of her mother. She was pretty intolerablem but most of her hostility was directed at Vriska, unfortunately. Aranea got by because she and Vriska operated on opposite poles; Vriska was loud and fought back and yelled at Mom when she thought things were unfair, but always did what she was told anyway, regardless of the measures she had to take to do so. Aranea was quiet and always pretended to be obedient, but never actually did what she was asked, and their mother forgot half the time anyway. Getting out would be a joy. Aranea clicked her email open, hoping for some sign of early admissions, despite knowing even _those_ wouldn’t be out until February. Her inbox was empty, as per usual. She pinched the bridge of her nose underneath her glasses, letting out a deep sigh when she glanced up and saw a message from Meenah.

 

clammyCommander [CC] began pestering absolutionsGrasp [AG]

 

CC: yo gill  
CC: i gotta talk to you  
AG: There is nothing to talk about, Meenah.  
AG: We broke up.  
CC: come on aranea  
CC: you didnt even give me a reason  
CC: just told me that “we are no longer a good fit for each other”.  
CC: all cold and calculated like it didnt mean anything  
AG: You ought to know very well that I am simply not an emotional person.  
CC: okay but like you could at least give me some sort of explanation  
AG: Here is the way I see it.  
AG: You have no intention of going to college, OR of inheriting your mother’s corporation—which honestly makes no sense considering how much you idolize her.  
AG: I, on the other hand, want to leave Skaia. Ideally, I would attend a school in New York.  
AG: While the idea of your future being a mystery is still the case, I simply don’t think we are on similar paths.  
AG: That and I have little to no respect for those without aspiration.  
CC: yo hold on you know damn well i have aspirations  
CC: i told you like a million times i dont wanna take the company cause i dont want shit just handed to me  
CC: id rather build something new myself  
CC: which i can DO in new York  
AG: True.  
AG: But I also don’t care for the concept of you going to New York for my sake.  
AG: Lest you come to resent me.  
AG: Nor do I think a long distance relationship would be a good idea.  
AG: Breaking things off only seemed to be the next logical step.  
CC: see youre just sayin this like its all logic and you didnt even care about me :(  
CC: we coulda stuck it out til graduation  
AG: Meenah, of course I cared about you.  
AG: I still do.  
AG: You were my best friend, before you were my girlfriend.  
AG: But I am concerned with my future, and as of right now, I can’t see you as a part of it, romantically.  
AG: I could have put things off, but that would only have resulted in more heartbreak.  
CC: oh so you do have a heart  
AG: Meenah, please.  
AG: I had hoped to not hurt you, but heartbreak is often unavoidable. I’m sorry.  
CC: clam up  
AG: This may be… shellfish of me, but I do hope we find a way to maintain friendship.  
CC: shellfish?  
CC: …you made a fish pun for me  
AG: Yes.  
CC: okay  
CC: i gotta… give myself time to heal but  
CC: yeah  
CC: id like to still be friends  
CC: sorry for being so emotional  
AG: It’s perfectly understandable.  
AG: But I really do have to go.  
CC: s’alright  
CC: go do your thing you ambitious freak

 clammyCommander [CC] ceased pestering absolutionsGrasp [AG]

 

           Aranea let out another long sigh. Somehow, talking to Meenah always seemed to be somewhat draining. She stood from the computer, stretching out a bit, then headed downstairs to see if Vriska was home, or if she was avoiding it as per usual.  
            “Vris!” she called. “Vris, you home?”  
            “Yeah, just got back.”  
            “Good, let’s go out for dinner.”  
            “Aranea, you of all people should know I’m broke as shit,” Vriska scowled a bit at Aranea, but her eyes flitted over to their mother, who was asleep on the couch with a few empty beer cans on the coffee table. Aranea seemed to take the hint.  
            “Listen, if she gets mad, I’ll take the fall. Come on. _Wood Ranch_ , my treat?” Aranea asked. She was genuinely trying to be kind to her sister, despite them not always getting along.  
            “Well… if you’re buying. Let’s go!”

 

            Aranea sat in an awkward silence as Vriska scarfed down most of what was in their bread basket, and after clearing her throat a bit, decided to attempt conversation.  
            “So how was school today?”  
            “Lame, just like always. Honestly, it’s such bullshit that they tell us where to go and what to do for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. It’s not like I need to know any of this shit they’re teaching us.”  
            “Like… algebra? That’s actually helpful.”  
            “Well, ok, but what about calculus? You want to study literature, right? Why do you have to do all that crazy advanced bullshit math? I mean honestly if I could, I would just go get a job right now instead of being in school.”  
            “Right…” Aranea let her voice trail, knowing she didn’t totally agree with Vriska. Well, she didn’t totally disagree either, but thought a change of subject might be appropriate. “Well, how’re things going with Tavros? Or that new guy, uh. James?”  
            “Oh. John.”  
            “Yeah, John.”  
            “He was messaging me before school today and being kinda cute, I guess. And then he tried to talk to me and must have been nervous, because his glasses fogged up. But I don’t know what that really means… he did actually manage the rope climb, though, which was mildly impressive.”  
            “Do you… like him?” Aranea asked. If she had to name one flaw about herself, it’s that she was hopelessly nosy and a bit of a gossip.  
            “What! No! I don’t know. I kinda do, but I also kinda like Tavros.”  
            “Vriska, if I’m being totally honest, I think if something were going to happen with you and Tavros, it would have happened by now.” Vriska’s gaze narrowed.  
            “Who even asked you, Aranea? It’s not like you’re the expert on romance or anything. Meenah’s just about the only good person you ever dated, and you broke up with her for no good reason!”  
            Aranea reddened, embarrassed but also angry. “My reasons are none of your business,” she said quietly, trying to avoid making a scene. “Can we please not argue?”  
            Vriska was silent for a second. “I… I am going to make a move with Tavros, and if he’s not interested, it’ll be time to cut my losses I guess,” she conceded. Aranea suddenly felt bad. Vriska and Tavros had been doing that dance for a long time, but Tavros was such a shy boy that he probably had difficulties addressing romantic feelings. Rufioh was kind of the same way, but in reverse. He’d had difficulties addressing his loss of romantic feelings, and it resulted in a lot of heartache for Damara, as well as a violent outburst.  
            “Look, I didn’t mean to hit a sore spot. I know it’s weird between you guys.”  
            “It’s fine. Let’s just order our food.”  
            Aranea was tense through the rest of her dinner with Vriska. She really could be pointlessly stubborn and it made actual sisterly bonding quite difficult. After a while, she spoke again.  
            “I’m sorry, again. I know things haven’t worked out with you and Tavros.”  
            “Yeah… I shouldn’t have questioned your relationships either.”  
            Aranea tutted, knowing Vriska’s curiosity hadn’t been satiated. “Things with me and Meenah just weren’t working out. More on my end than hers.”  
            Vriska pursed her lips, clearly wanting to ask more questions, but after a moment, she thought better of it and let out a sigh. “Fair enough.”

 

            Aranea paid the bill, both girls seeming to be in a better mood by the time they left. Vriska was more chatty and laughing a bit, which Aranea took as a good sign. She figured they had to get _some_ sisterly bonding before she left for college. Of course, that was ruined by their mother.  
            “Where the hell have you two been?” she accosted them. Vriska froze, which Aranea noticed in her peripheral vision. She was also aware of how inebriated her mother was.  
            “It’s my fault, Mom, I decided to take Vriska out to dinner.”  
            “’s not like you, Aranea, to go out without telling me.”  
            “You were asleep. I didn’t think it very polite to wake you.”  
            “Mm. Did’ja at least bring me something to eat?”  
            “No… but I can order something for you.”  
            Suzanne grumbled and shifted on the couch a bit, then promptly fell back asleep. Aranea rolled her eyes and headed upstairs.  
            “Hey… you’re not gonna order her something?” Vriska asked.  
            “No. She’ll forget by the time she wakes up.”  
            Vriska glanced back at her mother, unsure, then ran up to her room, hoping Aranea was right.


	8. Bugging and Fussing and Meddling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska causes some complications at the Christmas party.

 

            Vriska fudged her way through finals, feeling as though she did well enough on her tests despite making a habit of ditching her fourth period. Actually, the first time she ditched, she ran into Meenah in the bathroom and they shared a joing. After that, it became a habit because Vriska kind of missed Meenah; missed hanging out with someone who was “actually cool” since Meenah and Aranea had broken up and Terezi was leaving her in the lurch. Regardless, after finals ended, word got out among the group that Feferi was hosting the holiday part. Of course her mom gave her a hard time when she went to leave for the party, trying to use the fact that it was Hannukah (it was the third night, not even the first) as some kind of bargaining chip, but Vriska had surprisingly taken a lesson from her sister and just ignored their mom, rather than continuing to engage. Besides, she’d rather spend Hannukah with her friends; with people who actually cared about her. So Vriska was making an attempt to enjoy the party, draped over the couch next to Jade, who was sitting on the arm of the couch leaning forward with the TV remoted clutched in her hands. Vriska _still_ hadn’t gotten to know Jade very well, despite knowing her for nearly two months.  
            “So Jade, you know John pretty well, right?”  
            “Mhm!”  
            “You don’t think he has a crush on anyone, do you?”  
            Jade glanced up from the TV—she’d been flipping through the pre-programmed music channels—and blinked at Vriska.  
            “I don’t… why?”  
            “Hey Vriska.” Vriska looked up towards the other voice. Right. Terezi. They hadn’t exactly been on speaking terms.  
            “What,” Vriska grumbled at her.  
            “Can I talk to you for a minute?”  
            Vriska glared at her, not budging. “You’re already talking to me.”  
            “I mean… about our fight.”  
            “Oh. That. Well, go ahead,” Vriska said, hoping that if they had an audience, Terezi wouldn’t berate her again.  
            “Well… I’m sorry I blew up at you like that. I can’t expect you to change overnight, but it doesn’t seem like you’re trying. I just… things aren’t always going to go your way and I think you need to accept that and relinquish just a little bit of control and stop trying to manipulate everyone’s lives.”  
            Vriska didn’t know how to respond for a moment. Terezi kind of had a point; she pushed Tavros around trying to make him an emotionally stronger person in the hopes he’d ask her out, and she was trying to get John wrapped around her finger. It was definitely worth a moment of thought.  
            “Yeah… I had been kind of thinking the same thing. I don’t like being mad at you.” Vriska was a bit surprised at her own honesty.  
            “And I don’t like being mad at you! Can we stop being mad at each other?”  
            “Yeah. Scourge Sisters?”  
            “Scourge Sisters.”  
            Vriska was relieved to have Terezi back, and the two fell into conversation like they’d never been angry at all. Vriska was only mildly distracted and pulled away from Terezi after John came into the room.  
            “Hey Vriska,” he said, and Vriska stood to greet him, feeling a small thud in her chest.  
            “Hey, John. Nice to see you.”  
            “Yeah… you look really nice tonight.” Vriska blushed a bit. “Did you have a chance to watch that awesome video I linked you to?”  
            “What video?”  
            “You know… the one about the renegade hero who busted loose from the slammer to save the day.”  
            Oh, right. He’d gone on about some dumb movie a few weeks back, before everyone got so busy studying. “John, the way you describe movies makes them sound extremely stupid. Why would I want to watch this crap?”  
            “Just do it, you won’t be sorry. I mean, when you are not so busy or whatever.”  
            “Uh, hey, guys.” Vriska, once again, looked up from her conversation to see another person trying to get her attention. This time, it was Tavros. Vriska shifted in her seat, a bit uncomfortable. Tavros and John were both nice guys, but she hadn’t seen them interact much, and she was just a tad nervous of what they would tell each other about her. John shifted with her, their knees just barely brushing each other.  
            “Hey Tavros!” John said.  
            “'sup, Toreadork?” Vriska spoke over him.  
            “I, uh… got this. For you,” Tavros managed to say, thrusting a hastily-thrown-together gift bag into Vriska’s hands. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. Surely this was some kind of joke.  
            “This oughta be good,” she muttered to herself as she started to go through the tissue paper. Vriska wadded up one of the pieces of tissue paper into a ball and tossed it lightly at John, who had an odd expression on his face. He looked flustered and embarrassed, but Vriska just went about her business with the gift wrap, eventually pulling out a small box of fluorescent blue dice; a full set. She thought Tavros would have gifted her something stupid, just for the sake of having a gift to give, in some kind of sad attempt to impress, but this was genuinely thoughtful. She looked at them in awe for a moment, and gave a soft sort of smile, and then Tavros smiled back at her. Wait. What if this was what he wanted? To make her look dumb and soft and sensitive in front of everyone? Like he could win her over so easily. She scowled at him for a moment, and then laughed.  
             “Nice present, Toreadork. Like I don’t have plenty of dice.”  
             “I just thought, uh, I…”  
             “‘I, uh, um…’ Please, Tavros, spare us all from your pathetic whimpering for a change.”  
             “But--”  
             “What’s your deal, anyway?” Vriska asked, stepping closer to him. “I don’t see you hauling in presents for anyone else. I know I’m special and all, but if this is your way of showing me that you like me, then forget it.”  
             Tavros flushed bright red, then scooted out of the room. Vriska wasn’t sure what to make of it. He was either being actually nice to her, for some reason, or was trying to make her look stupid. She glanced at Sollux, who was staring at her, judgement clear on his face.  
             "What the fuck are _you_ looking at, Four Eyes?" she snipped. He rolled her eyes at her, but Vriska couldn't even give it much thought, as John was upset by her treatment of Tavros.  
              “Vriska!” She turned around to face him. Oh. Oh, God. She’d shown John something she didn’t want him to see yet. “What the hell are you doing?”  
              “What?”  
              “You’re being really mean. He was only trying to be thoughtful.” Vriska was mildly surprised that John was defending Tavros. She’d thought… well, she’d thought that John was somewhat jealous of whatever chemistry she had with Tavros.  
              “I didn’t…”  
              “‘Sup, everyone?” Dave entered the room, gathering everyone’s attention. Vriska took a breath, then escaped the room, skirting just past him. She took a moment in one of the many empty hallways in Feferi’s gigantic house. Well, was this whole thing going to change the way John thought of her? She thought they’d been doing well; well enough to make Tavros jealous; to make Tavros think he had to make this dumb, sweet gesture in the first place. She really hoped she hadn’t just blown things with John. And she hoped she hadn’t blown things with Tavros, either. Ugh! Why were things so complicated? Why did Vriska have to have feelings for both these guys, with no idea of how to choose? Well, she had more history with Tavros, but there was just… something, about John. But she always figured that if things were going to happen with Tavros, they would have happened by then. Well, maybe she would just have to take matters into her own hands. She took a deep breath, then returned to the party. John had moved to the kitchen table with Dave, but his eyes still flitted over to hers when she walked back in. She let out a sigh when he didn’t move, and sat down next to Aradia, who must have only just arrived.  
              “So, Aradia, how’re things with Sweaty McGee? Saw you in the neighborhood earlier,” Vriska said, needling Aradia just for the sake of blowing off some steam.  
              “That’s right, you two are neighbors…” Aradia muttered.  
              “Yeah, how did it feel seeing a nice house for once?”  
              “Are you referring to yours? Because if that’s the case, I don’t think I have an answer.”  
              “What’s wrong with my house?!” Vriska said, letting her anger come out just a bit.  
              “What’s wrong with mine?”  
              “Isn’t your family dirt fucking poor?”  
              “I wouldn’t say that,” Aradia said, seemingly without emotion. God, why did Vriska even bother talking to her? It wasn’t as if she’d ever get a reaction.  
              “What?! God, don’t you feel anything anymore? I just-- ugh, I fucking hate you! Go find your stupid stinky boyfriend!”  
              “I think I will, actually, your company is pretty unpleasant, come to think of it.”

              Wherever Aradia went, she disappeared for a while. Tavros must have decided he still wanted to talk to Vriska too, since he parked his chair next to the couch. She flicked some of the popcorn from the bowl she’d pilfered at him, and he just flinched at it when it hit him in the face.  
              “You’re supposed to catch it, dumbass,” Vriska frowned at him. When Aradia came back, she had Equius with her, but she looked very out of it. Equius sat next to Vriska, with Aradia on his other side.  
              “Hi, Equius,” Tavros said.  
              “Hello, Tavros.” There was a moment of awkward silence, and then Equius spoke again. “Er, forgive me. I was merely thinking about my latest robotic project. You see, I have been designing a new kind of prosthetic leg.”  
              “You trying to get Tavros out of his crummy-ass wheelchair, Zahhak?” Vriska piped up, only half-paying attention to the conversation.  
              “Please, Vriska, mind your manners.”  
              “Don’t think you can tell me what to do!” God, Equius was always up on his high horse. His family was only just barely better off than Vriska’s, and yet he always acted like he was better than her and could order her around and shit. Maybe people like Tavros would tolerate that, but Vriska Serket certainly wouldn’t. Equius faltered, and then turned back to Tavros.  
              "I could design and build a pair specifically to fit you, if you’d like.”  
              “Thanks, Equius, but prosthetics won’t help me. It’s not my legs that are the problem, it’s the spinal damage.”  
              “But see, that’s why I’m designing a new kind of prosthetic. It’s meant to connect to the nervous system, though I haven’t quite perfected it. Your nerves are like your body’s wiring, so I am making a way to connect your wiring to the leg’s wiring at the spine, whereas most prosthetics connect at a joint.”  
              “You should go for it, Tavros. Maybe you won’t be so useless then,” Vriska said. Tavros took a deep breath.  
              “Sorry, Equius. I’m just not sure I’m comfortable with that,” Tavros answered, and then he followed Gamzee outside. Vriska snorted derisively. What a moron. So Vriska was stuck there with Equius and Aradia, and honestly they were such an awkward couple that she had no idea what to say to either of them. She was still so conflicted between John and Tavros; she knew she had to choose one guy to go with, but only had one idea as to how to do so, and it involved waiting for Gamzee to come back inside. When she spotted him out of the corner of her eye, she went outside, and found Tavros alone.  
              “You are just so insufferable,” she said. “Trying to make me look all soft like that in front of everybody.”  
              “I… wasn’t trying to make you look soft. I just thought you’d like them.”  
              “So…” she paused for a moment, “that was a genuine gesture of affection?”  
              “Um… yeah? Not everyone messes with feelings like you do.”  
              Vriska knew what she had to do next. She had to know what it would feel like. “And just what is that supposed to mean?”  
              "I just meant--”  
              Before Tavros could finish speaking, Vriska hoisted him up by the collar of his shirt and planted a kiss directly on his lips. Tavros was apparently so baffled by the situation he couldn’t even reciprocate, and it was not nearly as satisfying as Vriska had hoped. She dropped him back in his wheelchair.  
              “God, you’re an idiot, Tavros,” she said, and then retreated back into the house.

              Okay, so the Christmas party was something of a bust, but at least Vriska was sure of one thing—there wasn’t a spark between her and Tavros. They kissed and she’d felt _nothing._ It was all she could do to hope that she hadn’t completely screwed things up with John. And then she remembered Terezi. Oh, she didn’t say _anything_ about the whole situation. How fucked up was it that Vriska’s supposed best friend was too cowardly to defend her? Terezi was going to get _such_ an earful! Vriska called her as soon as she got home.  
              “Hello?” Terezi answered.  
              “So, what, are you mad at me again?” Vriska asked, not even wanting to waste her time with a greeting.  
              “Vriska, I really can’t talk right now.”  
              “I can’t _believe_ that right after we made up, you’re taking Tavros’ side AGAIN.”  
              “I’m not taking Tavros’ side, I just—”  
              “Oh _really._ Then why did you not even try to talk to me afterwards?”  
              “Because you’re a bitch!” Vriska faltered. She hadn’t expected such a forthright, blunt answer. “And maybe I had other things to think about! You are not the center of my universe! I got mad at you because you manipulate and you yell and abuse your friends, Tavros most of all, and you think it’s fine just because he’s too nervous and afraid to say anything to you. Well it’s not. And right after we had that conversation about you _trying_ to get better, you go and embarrass him in from of ALL our friends, and it showed me that you’re just as bad as everyone thinks you are, and unless you ACTUALLY shape your shit up instead of just _saying_ you’re going to, I am not going to pretend I’m fine with things. Now if you don’t mind, I really can’t talk now. I’ve had an incredibly emotional night because my MOTHER just had a MISCARRIAGE. Goodbye!” Terezi hung up on Vriska faster than Vriska could even process everything she just said. She slammed her phone on the desk and started playing _Overwatch_ to blow off some steam, which pretty much resulted in her passing out at the computer at 2am.

               She woke up groggily the next morning when her phone went off.

 grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

 GA: Vriska I don’t understand you  
GA: You wonder why we are all beginning to pull away from you but the way you treated Tavros last night is a prince example of why we are wary of your friendship  
AG: Ohhhhhhhh my gooooooood  
AG: Are you going to get on my case now too?  
AG: First John, now you.  
AG: Why do you even care so much?  
GA: It’s not right to speak to your supposed friends in the manner that you do  
GA: I care because you’re going to hurt someone  
GA: And isolate yourself  
AG: Fine, let me be isolated then!  
AG: You think I don’t know I have problems?  
GA: No  
GA: I know you are aware  
GA: I just don’t think you’re going to do much about it  
AG: UGHHHHHHHH  
AG: Why do you always bug and fuss and meddle instead of minding your own business?  
AG: My mess of a life isn’t any of your concern.  
AG: I’m so over dealing with your chiding.

 arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

            Ugh, Kanaya and her bugging and fussing and meddling. Why was she always in Vriska’s business? Why was _everyone_ always in Vriska’s business? She could handle things, and she could do it herself, even if her methods left something to be desired. It was fine. Vriska was used to doing things on her own anyway. It was fine.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obligatory comment about vriska and ch 8
> 
> ANYWAY my sched is SO BUSY im graduating college in less than a month and working a lot and fanime is in 2 weeks and final papers are due AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH but i still have a lot of passion for this series and I am determined to see it through to the end!


	9. Relationship Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska contemplates her boy troubles amid other distressed couples.

            Despite the debacle last time she saw her friends, Vriska still missed her friends. Not because she wanted to hang out with them, particularly, but because since her falling out with Terezi, it was proving difficult to find reasons to get out of her suffocating household. God, why did her mother have to be so awful? Hannukah had ended by then, but even when they _were_ celebrating, it was insufferable to stick around so much. A girl could only hear, “you’re such an ingrate” so many times. So, while Vriska was surprised to receive a call from Tavros inviting her to Spencer Slick’s Christmas party, she—to her own astonishment—took him up on the offer. When she got into the car, it was pretty clear that Tavros’ family was not exactly enthused that he had invited her, but she was mildly distracted by a conversation on Pesterchum. She’d been put out by John’s reaction at Feferi’s party, and the fact that they hadn’t spoken since was a tad distressing, so she took the liberty of breaking the silence.

 

arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

AG: Hi John.  
EB: oh, hey there, vriska.  
AG: John, are you mad at me?  
EB: um…no?  
AG: Then what’s the matter?  
EB: i dunno, i should probably be socializing with my family.  
AG: I never understood how you’re so sentimental.  
EB: yeah, i know.  
EB: but how do you feel about your family?  
AG: It’s just my sister and my mom.  
AG: And I never liked my mom that much.  
AG: Things have been pretty chilly between us. I spend most of my time avoiding her. Haha.  
EB: that…  
EB: is too bad.

           Vriska frowned. John was certainly being less chatty than usual. He typically went on and on about his dorky movies, or whatever ^cake file he was coding.

  
AG: John.  
AG: Are you suuuuuuuure you’re not mad at me?  
EB: no!!  
EB: why would i be mad at you, vriska?  
AG: Because of the way I acted last weekend!!!!!!!!  
AG: We haven’t exactly talked since then.  
EB: oh. Right.  
EB: i…actually almost forgot about that!  
AG: Would it help if I said I was sorry?  
EB: why would you need to apologize to me though?  
EB: i mean, tavros deserves an apology more than me i think…  
EB: we were all pretty confused about it.

            Vriska glanced up at Tavros. He really did take the brunt of it. But it was for his own good! He needed to learn to be tougher. She looked back at her phone, pausing for a moment.  
            “Who’re you, uh, messaging?” Tavros asked, a note of jealousy in his voice. Vriska looked back at him and scowled.  
            “John. Not that it’s any of your business.”

  
EB: uh…  
EB: are you there?  
AG: Yes, I am here.  
AG: Sorry, I wasn’t sure what to say for a moment.  
AG: I am relieved you are not angry with me.  
EB: heh, i don’t really think i have much reason to be angry.  
AG: I don’t know, John. People resent me a lot but you seem to get me.  
AG: That’s why youre special.  
EB: shruuuuuuuug!  
AG: <33333333  
EB: so…  
EB: is that what you wanted to talk to me about?  
AG: Yes.  
AG: Well.  
AG: Not exactly.

             It was about time Vriska was honest with herself, and honest with John as well. It wasn’t as if she had a stellar track record with most people.

  
AG: John, I do really bad things.  
AG: I know I do.  
EB: well, how do you feel about it?  
AG: Horrible!!!!!!!!  
AG: But I don’t want people to think I’m weak.  
EB: oh…  
EB: i guess i understand.  
AG: Do you?  
EB: i don’t know, it sounds like growing up was pretty rough for you.  
EB: you have to act tough to make it, in your mind, and have a sense of how to fight, right?  
AG: Uh, yeah.  
EB: i think if you feel bad, it just means you have a conscience.  
AG: Yeah, but I’ve done bad shit before and never felt this awful!  
AG: Like, growing up I had to steal from people just to get food in the house.  
AG: My mom held my well-being hostage, basically.  
AG: God, I know how this sounds! But it was my responsibility to feed everyone!  
EB: i guess that is why you didn’t get along with her?  
AG: Hell yes.  
EB: i see.  
AG: Yeah, but I never felt anything about it. It was just normal life for me.  
EB: but you finally hurt a friend, and… not so cool anymore?  
AG: Yeah. OH!  
AG: Ok, that’s not quite right. I accidentally-on-purpose fucked up Aradia.  
AG: Man, I always forget about her.  
EB: uh.  
AG: And, yeah, I pushed Tavros down the stairs.  
EB: …  
AG: But man, that was years ago.  
AG: I was always really obsessed with being the best at stuff, and I guess I was such a confused kid!  
AG: I am sorry, John, I’m just trying to be honest with you.  
EB: ok, well i appreciate the honesty.  
EB: but i have to go.  
EB: it’s time for dinner.  
AG: Okay  
AG: Bye, John.  
AG: Merry Christmas.

ectoBiologist [EB] has ceased pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

            Well, that was just great. If he hadn’t been scared off before, he certainly was now. Fuck, she’d messed everything up, hadn’t she? Whatever. Might as well enjoy Slick’s crappy party, because anything was better than staying at home with her mother. As it turned out, the Nitrams were the type of people who showed up 20 minutes before everyone else. Vriska stood aside from the others while greetings were exchanged, her hands shoved in her pockets.  
            “Yeah, I put some stuff in the room upstairs for you kids,” Spencer grumbled. Vriska wasn’t super familiar with Spencer and Harold and Daniel and Clyde aside from her aunt being somewhat involved with Spencer.  
            “Upstairs?” Tavros asked. Vriska stifled a laugh. Spencer paused, taking a moment to realize his mistake.  
            “Aw shit dammit!”  
            “It’s alright,” Tavros muttered. Just then, the Captors arrived. Vriska rolled her eyes at Sollux’s mere presence. He’d been so surly lately, turning into a fucking grouch like Karkat.  
            “Hey guys,” Sollux grumbled. “Guess we’re being exiled upstairs.” Sollux headed up before the others, but Vriska was waiting to see Tavros handle the situation. He looked _so_ embarrassed as Rufioh lifted him out of his chair and carried him up. Vriska couldn’t help but laugh, even as she hoisted the chair up behind them. It was still funny as hell. Rufioh took Tavros into the spare bedroom where Sollux was already fiddling with the wires, Vriska set the chair down and flopped onto the bed, and Tavros settled back into his seat.  
            “Okay, little man, I’m gonna go chill with the adults. Holler if you need me,” Rufioh said before vanishing. Vriska wasn’t totally paying attention anymore; Sollux and Tavros were playing some kind of racing game so Vriska just fiddled on her phone for a while.

            Eventually, Aradia showed up, seeming more morose and downtrodden than ever. The girl always seemed somewhat depressed, but the expression on her face was even bringing Vriska down.  
            “Hi Aradia,” Tavros said.  
            “Hey Tav… Sollux…” Aradia answered.  
            “‘sup,” Sollux answered. Vriska noticed that Aradia and Sollux weren’t making eye contact. She scowled at Aradia.  
            “What, don’t I get a hello?”  
            “Don’t you have your own family to bother? It _is_ Christmas.”  
            “Wha—I’m _Jewish,_ you asshole.” Aradia was frustrating in a different way than Tavros or Kanaya or John. Aradia just didn’t _care_ anymore. It was so hard to get a rise out of her. Vriska went on and on and on about things just trying to get a semblance of a reaction from Aradia, but nothing she said worked, and all it did was make Vriska angrier and angrier, until the kids were all called down for dinner. Vriska all but sprinted out of the room, shoving Sollux out of the way as she went out the door.  
            “Move it, loser!"  
            “Oh my god, shut up,” she heard Sollux mutter behind her, but she paid him no mind; she was far too excited about food that hadn’t been frozen prior to eating it. But of course some other kind of bullshittery had to rear its ugly head just as Vriska was sitting down to eat. Her phone rang, the caller ID reading “Equius Zahhak.” She groaned, earning her an eyebrow-raise from Sollux, then skulked into the other room as she answered.  
            “What do you waaaaaaaant?” she asked.  
            “I need some help with Aradia, she’s… I don’t know. She’s pulling away from me.”  
            “What—”  
            “You’re the one who got us together, you have to help.”  
            “No, I don’t care.”  
            “Vriska, please, I don’t understand how this works. I am not asking you because you owe me, I am asking as a friend.”  
            “I know, but I can’t force her to…”  
            “I have never dated anyone before.”  
            “Shut up! Listen, Zahhak, I held up my end of the deal and rigged the game. I got you in the closet.”  
            “But it’s not working with me and her.”  
            “Well that’s not my problem! You deal with your own freaky relationship; I can’t force Droog to have feelings for you! She hardly has feelings about anything anymore.”  
            “Well… how can I fix things?”  
            “Figure it out! I made a promise and I fulfilled that promise. Not my business anymore.” She hung up and went back to the dinner table. Wasn’t there at least _one_ competent non-asshole person in her entire circle of friends? Why was she being forced to deal with everyone’s god damn baggage? Why was Equius even _asking_ her for relationship advice when… when she was failing to manage her _own?_ She’d messed things up with John and it wasn’t going to happen with Tavros; there was nothing left to do about it. But… what if there _was_ something to do about it? After all, Tavros was getting jealous of Vriska spending time with John. Maybe there was a way to get John’s attention again, and maybe Vriska just had to turn the tables on him. After all, it wasn’t as if Tavros had outright rejected her, either. Maybe this was another chance to see if things _would_ work, even though subconsciously, Vriska had mostly made up her mind about it. She definitely liked John more, but it was possible she’d made a mistake in confiding in him, and the more she thought about it, the more certain she was she shouldn’t have told him, and that it would drive a wedge between them. Because John was a good person, and she just… wasn’t. Being around him kind of made her _want_ to be a better person. But first she had to get his attention again, and if there was one thing Vriska Serket was good at, it was making boys jealous of each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally wrote half of this while i was in class


	10. Midnight Kisses Were a Bad Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, who even thought up that tradition?

            There was just one major social event left before school started back up again, and that was the New Year’s party at Feferi’s. She figured she’d shoot Tavros a message before heading over, if only just to hint at what she had in mind for the evening.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering adiosToreador [AT]

AG: Heeeeeeeey, Tavros.  
AT: ummm, hey, vriska  
AT: funny you messaged me  
AT: i was about to talk to you  
AG: Oh reaaaaaaaally?  
AG: What would you want to talk to little ol’ me about?  
AT: well, i, uh,  
AT: thought about the way you were teasing aradia on christmas  
AG: Ugh, that emotionless automaton?  
AT: hey, aradia is my friend  
AG: Whatever.  
AT: anyway, i think you kind of  
AT: might be pushing friends away with your attitude?

            Vriska faltered. He was right; she knew that much. But she couldn’t _tell_ him that.

AG: Wow, Tavros, what the fuck?  
AT: i just mean,  
AT: some of the things you say are kind of harsh  
AT: i’m not saying it to be mean  
AG: Yeah, I know, you’re saying it because I’m your friend and you don’t want to see me isolate myself. Whatever, Tavros, don’t tell me how to live my life.  
AT: i, uh, didn’t mean it like that  
AG: Then how did you mean it?  
AT: i dunno  
AT: uh, sorry  
AG: You should be.  
AT: anyway…  
AT: what were you messaging me about?  
AG: Just wondering if you’re not so much of a lame-ass that you’d bail on Feferi’s party.  
AT: i was planning on going  
AT: if that’s what you mean  
AG: Alright then, Tavros.  
AG: See you later :::;)

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]

            Part of Vriska felt a little bad, playing Tavros like this. But he was the one who always bought into it, and he needed to learn! Vriska let out a sigh and grabbed her stuff before heading downstairs. Aranea had been waiting in the car. But of course, Vriska’s attempt to leave the house was met with an argument with her mother.  
            “I don’t understand why you’re going out all the time,” Suzanne hissed as Vriska headed for the front door.  
            “Because I have friends? People who care about me?” Vriska answered, even though she wasn’t so sure lately. It would probably be easier for the entire group if she stopped hanging around with them. Even Terezi, which was probably the worst sting of all.  
            “They don’t care about you. Not like I do. Nobody could love you more than your own mother.”  
            “This is what you call love, Mom? You’re always telling me how worthless I am and how I’m ungrateful and I better pull my weight around here. That’s not love. That’s not caring. That’s manipulation.”  
            “Hey! You don’t get to talk to me like that. I am your _mother_.”  
            “Yeah, then treat me like a daughter, not like I’m just here to run your errands!”  
            “Vriska Annabeth Serket, if you go out that door, don’t bother coming back.”  
            “Fine, I don’t wanna come back anyway!” Vriska shouted, slamming the door behind her. She stomped out to Aranea’s car and got in, scowling. Aranea glanced at her.  
            “You alright?”  
            “I’m fine. Let’s just go,” Vriska grumbled. “I’ve got shit to do at this party.”  
            Aranea tutted. “I really don’t think this is a great idea, Vriska.” Vriska’s scowl deepened, if that was even possible. It was always such a bad idea to confide in Aranea. It was almost as though she found some kind of enjoyment out of being contradictory. It was almost certainly easier to just keep Aranea out of the loop entirely.  
            “Why don’t you mind your own business?”  
            “I only mean that, continually airing your dirty laundry at big social gatherings like this, it’s only going to give them cause to ostracize you further.”  
            “I didn’t ask for your advice. Besides, at least I have a party to go to for New Year’s. What are you doing?”  
            “I am spending the evening with Porrim and Kankri.”  
            “Ugh. Kankri? How can you stand him? He’s so pretentious.”  
            “He’s not so bad, really. Quite smart, if overly critical.”  
            Vriska rolled her eyes. In every encounter she’d ever had with Kankri, he always seemed like such a prick.  
            “Whatever,” Vriska huffed as she got out of the car. She was more determined than ever to make this plan work. There was no better motivation than spite.  

            As she walked up the Peixes’ obscenely long driveway, she thought about that word. “Manipulative.” It’s what Terezi called her, and it’s what she’d just called her mother. But… no, she was nothing like her mom. Her mom was _horrible_ to her. Vriska only ever pushed people around for their own good. That meant she _had_ to be different, right? Vriska let out a sigh before walking into Feferi’s house. Even just upon her arrival, Vriska could tell there was tension around her. She couldn’t talk to Terezi, and John and Tavros weren’t there yet, so the only person that bothered engaging with her was Feferi, and even that was only cordial niceties before Vriska dropped onto the couch. Maybe Aranea had a point about Vriska ostracizing herself. Maybe she shouldn’t go through with this plan; she thought it might make her look foolish. And then, John walked in. Vriska glanced towards him, and their eyes met before John’s eyes flitted away. Vriska blushed, not sure why she was embarrassed suddenly. She watched John as he got a drink, exchanging a short conversation with Terezi that Vriska couldn’t quite hear, then sat with Jade, Rose, and Dave. No, she needed to recapture his attention again. It _sucked_ feeling so isolated. She knew how jealous Tavros had gotten of John—Tavros always made his emotions so obvious—so it was time to turn the tables. Almost as if on que, Tavros rolled in, Feferi greeting him with an overabundance of enthusiasm at the door. Fef was always being so cordial—Vriska thought hosting like that would give her a headache; it took so much effort to put on that ‘nice’ front all the time. Yeah, even _Feferi_ had her bitchy moments. But  Vriska’s focus really was on Tavros.  
            “Hey, Vriska,” Tavros said, smiling at her.  
            “Oh, heeeeeeeey, Tavros. What’s with that stupid grin? You look like you won the lottery. Which is impossible, ‘cause it implies you winning.” Ok, bad start. But she was already pissed off about her mom and her sister.  
            “I was just saying hello?” Tavros muttered, his smile fading.  
            “Yeah, well… ugh. Whatever.” She took a deep breath, far too aware of John’s presence in the room.  
            “Sorry, uh, for bothering you.” God, Tavros’ voice could be so grating.  
            “Hey, it’s all good,” she said, intentionally speaking more gently. “Just got to remind you who’s really in charge of the relationship here.”  
            “R- relationship?”  
            Vriska grinned at him, scooting closer. “Please, Tav, you know you and I have always had something.” Her eyes darted towards John. This time, _he_ got flustered, and he looked away. When Vriska looked back at Tavros, he looked different. Nervous, perhaps.  
            “I gotta—gotta talk to Gamzee,” Tavros sputtered.

            Vriska pretty much stuck to Tavros for the rest of the night. That boy sure was drinking a lot of punch. Vriska didn’t even think too much about it besides noticing that he’d started speaking with a bit of a slur, until Karkat shouted at Gamzee, “You piece of shit! You spiked the goddamn punch!”  
            Vriska covered a laugh. “No wonder Tavros looks worse than usual.” It was probably the most entertaining Tavros had ever been. Vriska shifted closer to him, running her hand up his leg. The countdown was ticking closer and closer, and she was beginning to get impatient, scooting into Tavros’ lap on his wheelchair at about five minutes to midnight.  
            Tavros gave a sort of unsure laugh at Vriska. “Waht’re you doing?” he slurred.  
            “I was gonna kiss you at midnight, you drunk fool.”  
            “Ahah!” Tavros shifted his arms, forcing Vriska to stand from the chair. Her face heated up as faces started to turn towards her. “I, uh, no. Nnnno. You don’ wanna kiss meeee, you! Jus; wanna make… John… Jealous.” Shit. Vriska was frozen in place, just looking in a panic towards John. “An’ anyway! I don’t think I wannaaa kiss you, anymore.” Anymore? So he had wanted to kiss her. It wasn’t all just made up in Vriska’s head. But of course she blew it. “You’re uhhhh, a mean. Person. You are mean to me. I don’ like it. And if I haaaad to geuss, I don’t think that, uh, mister John likes it very much, either. I know… most of us? Don’t like it either. And uh, that’s just. Sad. Vriskers. That most of us don’t really like you? You’re… too mean, eheheh. Gamzee! Can I have anudder drink?” Gamzee cackled wildly in the background, but Vriska was far too aware of how quiet the room had gone, everyone just looking at her. Then, with nowhere else to go, she just fled from the Peixes house.  
           She sat at the park for a while, not wanting to deal with the consequences of the fight with her mother earlier. She’d told her not to come back. What were the odds she actually meant it, though? That house would be wildly dysfunctional-- well, even more than it already was-- without Vriska around. Aranea just pretended to listen to their mother. Well, there was no point in staying out this late all alone. Vriska had been hoping John would come after her, or call her, or something, but no, she’d blown that too. Ugh, why was she like this? Why did she have to be so abrasive, and drive away everyone who cared about her? She stuffed her hands into her pockets and went home, climbing up the trellis to sneak into her room through the second-floor window.

           By the morning, Vriska was done pitying herself. Now she was just mad. How dare Tavros embarrass her like that, in front of everyone. What a FUCKING IDIOT.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering adiosToreador [AT]

 AG: Tavros!!!!!!!!  
AG: You want to tell me what the FUCK that was all about?  
AG: You’re a goddamn embarrassment.  
AG: I can’t believe you got wasted and SAID all that shit.  
AG: In front of EVERYBODYYYYYYYY!  
AG: Was your goal to humiliate me?  
AG: Make me look like an idiot?  
AG: Because NEWSFLASH!  
AG: It doesn’t matter what you said, because you were fucking DRUNK!!!!!!!!  
AG: Why were you even drinking?  
AG: I bet you knew there was shit in the punch.  
AG: Don’t think we didn’t all see you in the corner whispering to Gamzee.  
AT: wow  
AT: hi, vriska  
AT: dont think im not paying for drinking  
AT: my head really fucking hurts  
AG: Serves you right, dumbass.  
AT: but um  
AT: i dont think what i said to you was wrong?  
AG: Excuse you?  
AT: i mean  
AT: blunt? yes  
AT: but…  
AT: i dont think im really romantically interested in you  
AT: and i dont think you are or have been in me, either  
AT: i stand by what i said last night

             Vriska paused for a moment, and grew a bit more sad than angry.

 AG: You really think all our friends hate me?  
AT: ...no…  
AT: but i do think you were using me to make john jealous  
AT: and i dont think it would make a difference  
AG: Maybe you’re right, Tavros.  
AG: Maybe I just don’t know how to be nice.  
AT: wow…  
AT: really?  
AG: Maybe.  
AG: I don’t know.  
AG: I have to go.

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]

 

            Vriska signed off of Pesterchum, and stayed signed off for the rest of the break, not really wanting to deal with the implications of her actions. She didn’t even want to look Tavros in the eye, and wound up maintaining her habit of skipping English class. For once, Meenah wasn’t there. Probably somebody had said something about her shoddy attendance, and since she was actually graduating… it didn’t matter. Vriska was already alone as all hell. There was hardly even a point in staying there, but at the same time, she really didn’t want to go to class. Everything she’d done in her life was beginning to crash around her. Was she really just destined to be a shitty person? She looked at herself in the mirror, and was beginning to feel just as broken as she looked. She’d never let that accident define her, never let being half-blind and missing an arm stop her from getting ahead in life, but now? She couldn’t help but feel just as helpless as she did when she was in the hospital. She took a deep breath.  
            “Come on, Vris. Get it together. You’re tougher than this. You got this.” The door creaked open and Vriska glanced over to see who it was. Aradia. She looked… different. Darker, and almost, like… punk. Something had happened. She wasn’t at the New Year’s party, either, and Vriska-- to her own surprise-- was a bit worried. “Droog? What the hell happened to you?”  
            “Suffice to say, Equius and I had a little falling-out.” Oh.  
            “Oh reaaaaaaaally? What a shame. You two seemed to hit it off pretty we--ACK!” Vriska’s taunt was cut off by a harsh slap in the face. She rubbed her stinging cheek, and before she could retaliate, Aradia kneed her in the stomach, and then grabbed Vriska by the collar and punched her again, sending her glasses flying. This was so weird. Vriska always thought she’d be able to handle a fight, but here she was, getting her ass handed to her by Aradia fucking Droog. Aradia shoved her out the bathroom door and Vriska spilled onto the hallway floor. She heard a screw pop out and grabbed her prosthetic arm. She could feel the bruises on her face and the blood from her lip. Aradia stood over her, blurry.  
            “Don’t! Screw with me, Serket.” Holy shit. She’d fucking snapped. The bell rang and classes got out, a crowd forming in the hall around Vriska. She couldn’t make out individual faces, but she still knew she was being stared at, until the crowd parted and a wheelchair desperately in need of some oil came squeaking towards her. Tavros handed Vriska her glasses and helped lift her up as much as he could, while she tried to keep her entire arm from falling off.  
            “Come on, I’ll take you to the nurse,” he said, letting Vriska sit on his lap as he wheeled down the hall.  
            “Why are you helping me?” she couldn’t help but ask. After everything, he was still so nice to her. She couldn’t understand it.  
            “Jeez, Vriska, just because I don’t want to date you doesn’t mean we aren’t friends,” Tavros answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to finish up another chapter before Fanime tomorrow!! Also I have final papers due like right after con so forgive me if I disappear for a bit.


	11. SpiderBreath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska learns a lesson about honesty.

             Vriska still wasn’t sure what to make of the entire situation; what had happened on New Year’s, and the fight with Aradia, and why Tavros was still being so nice to her in spite of it all. She really didn’t deserve it. She knew she was right when she said she just didn’t know how to be kind, or a good person. It wasn’t as if she’d grown up with a great role model. This was what went through her head while she was in Ms. Paint’s office, and then after she was cleaned up and had Ms. Paint help replace the arm screws that had been popped, Vriska went back to class. Ms. Paint called Mrs. Serket, but Vriska already knew it wasn’t going to make a difference. She’d already been reassured that Aradia would face the repercussions of starting a fight on school campus. But for once, Vriska actually wanted to go home. It was kind of tiring, being humiliated like that, and now it had happened twice within a week and a half. She’d spent the entirety of lunch in the nurse’s office, and now was late for Biology class, but she went anyway, not wanting to look John in the eye. They were still on the rocks. Vriska was on the rocks with everyone, actually. Suffering through class with him was almost unbearable. He just looked at her in a way… it wasn’t pity, but it wasn’t affection, it was this sort of confused yet wistful gaze, like he was thinking “Vriska’s dangerous, I can’t get close to her”. To be fair, that was how most people looked at her as of late, but somehow coming from John, it just hurt more. They maintained this sort of upsetting distance for nearly a month, until John broke that silence during PE class.  
            “Uh… hey, Vriska.” She jumped a bit, not having been paying attention, and John’s mildly nervous voice was the last thing she’d expected to hear.  
            “Oh! Hey, John!” she said, trying to sound as though she hadn’t been caught off guard. She grinned at him. “What’s up?”  
            “Well. Um.” John paused, looked at his shoes, and cleared his throat. Vriska just studied his face, trying to determine the source of his bashfullness and embarrassment. “Well, um… Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I was just wondering if you… well… if you’d want to… maybe do something? With me?” he managed to stammer out. He looked like trying to ask her out was going to kill him, all red in the face. It was so unexpected, Vriska wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. She did neither, feeling her face warm up with blush.  
            “W-what?”  
            “I w-was wondering if you’d want to maybe hang out with me for Valentine’s Day… you know… like a date?” John smiled a bit, and that sly bucktooth grin made Vriska blush even more. She had been so sure he hated her, but here he was, proving her and her idea that she was unlovable wrong.  
            “I...I just… wow,” she muttered. John looked a bit befuddled for a moment, looking up at her. “I mean, yeah! I’d love to hang out! I’m just surprised… you haven’t been talking to me a whole lot lately.”  
            “Yeah… I’m sorry about that. It probably wasn’t the best reaction. I mean. You were confiding in me and all.” Vriska wanted to tell him that it was okay, that maybe the isolation had actually done her some good and she’d gotten a bit introspective, but they were signaled for class to actually start. “Anyway just message me later! We’ll work something out.” Vriska slowly nodded, and she wore a stupidly happy grin for the rest of the day. She needed to tell someone she was finally going on a date with John. She scrolled through the chumroll when she got home. Karkat? Ew, no, that would just invite a romance rant. Kanaya, no. Terezi?? Well… maybe. Maybe this could be something that would reignite their friendship.

 

arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AG: Heeeeeeeey Terezi.  
GC: What do you want?  
AG: So grouchy.  
AG: What’s your problem?  
GC: Vriska why are you messaging me  
AG: Just thought you ought to know that John asked me on a date today and I said yes.  
GC: Okay  
AG: That’s it?  
GC: Yeah I don’t really care  
GC: Date him, don’t date him  
GC: It doesn’t matter to me  
AG: Oh come on, you love butting in on my business.  
GC: Not really  
GC: Or, not anymore I guess  
GC: I think you make bad decisions  
GC: And I would normally advise you against them  
GC: But I am not doing that anymore  
AG: Right.  
AG: Because you’re mad at me.  
GC: I’m not mad at you  
GC: I’m done  
GC: I told you until things change I’m done so do whatever you want to do and leave me out of it  
AG: Okay????????  
AG: What am I supposed to do with that?  
GC: Take it whatever way you like  
GC: I am not in the mood to perpetuate this conversation  
AG: You seriously just don’t want to talk to me anymore?  
GC: Well I’m not having a great day  
GC: And I think you just wanted to tell me about your date to make me feel worse about myself  
AG: Uuuuuuuugh you’re so frustrating :P  
AG: Well, fine, I will go, but first let me ask you a question.  
GC: Fine  
AG: Do you actually think me dating John is a bad decision?  
GC: Actually, no  
GC: I think saying yes to him is one of the first good decisions you’ve made regarding boys  
AG: Because it was an honest answer?  
GC: Yes  
GC: I don’t understand how this is such a difficult concept but people will like you when you stop lying about yourself and manipulating them and being rude  
GC: Saying yes to John showed a true interest in him  
GC: You know  
GC: Beyond trying to make Tavros jealous  
AG: Hm.  
GC: Because people aren’t these little pawns that you get to move around and play against each other  
AG: Okay.  
AG: So…

Vriska wanted to ask if they could be friends again, even if not in that moment, then at some point down the line. Because Vriska actually was trying to be better, or at the very least, realize she had to be better. But something warned her not to ask, because it was sad and soft and pathetic. So she didn’t. She knew better than to look soft.

 GC: So…?  
AG: Uh. Nevermind.  
AG: Bye, Terezi.

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]

 

            Vriska sighed. Losing her best friend sure did suck, but she tried to be optimistic about how her date would go.

 

            That weekend was Vriska’s date with John. They’d decided on going to a Nic Cage movie marathon since John was the one who told her to watch Con Air and got her hooked on Cage’s dumb stupid acting. She sat at the mall for a while, trying to figure out if she’d overdressed or not, when she saw John get out of his dad’s car, fussing with his shirt hem. She turned to face him, waving out as he approached.  
            “Hey John!” she yelled out to get his attention. He looked up at her, seeming unsure of himself. It was sort of endearing.  
            “Hey Vriska. Uh, you ready?”  
            “Yeah, do you have the tickets?”  
            “Yeah,” John smiled a bit. Vriska smiled back, then tugged him inside the theater.  
            “Then let’s go!”  
            They spent most of the movies leaning on each other and making dumb jokes, but Vriska had a good time. Being around John made her stomach flutter, so of course when he asked if she wanted to keep hanging out and get some ice cream, she said yes. She sat on the table, taking small bites from her Rocky Road, just soaking in the quiet for a moment, and then she looked up at John.  
            “You know… you really caught me off guard here,” Vriska said.  
            “What?”  
            “When you asked me to hang out. I thought I’d… I thought I’d severed all ties with everyone who ever even remotely cared about me.” That was… brutally honest. Vriska was still getting used to the idea about being open emotionally with people she cared about, and she certainly cared about John, so she told him. It was true, though, she’d felt so alone and like she’d completely screwed herself out of having any friends.  
            “Why’s that?”  
            Oh boy, time for more emotional honesty. “‘Cause I’m a gigantic asshole. I told you, I’ve done some terrible shit.”  
            Vriska looked at John as he paused, sticking his spoon in the ice cream cup. He looked at her, and she studied him, focusing on the thoughts she could see passing behind his bright blue eyes. “Nothing is unforgivable, though,” he said after a while.  
            She thought for a moment. Could she really be forgiven? More importantly, did she want to be forgiven? “You think?”  
            “Well… yeah. Have you ever apologized to the people you hurt?”  
            “I guess… I guess I haven’t.”  
            “Well then that’s probably the first step to feeling better about stuff, right?”  
            “Yeah…” Vriska muttered. What a smart kid. “Hey John…”  
            “Hmm?”  
            “Thanks for not giving up on me,” Vriska said, then leaned over and pecked him on the cheek. Seeing his face turn red was worth all the honesty she’d just thrown on the table. Being with him was worth the hard conversations. She’d hated it when he was pretty much silent towards her, so apparently she’d done something right if he still liked her. The fact that they hadn’t been talking really made Vriska start to think about things more during that time, especially pertaining to herself. Fuck, why did she push away anyone who ever got close to her? First Tavros, then John. She knew she needed to talk to Tavros, as difficult as it was going to be for her. He was the one she was the worst to, and with John backing her up, she knew she had to at least attempt to make things right. She made a point to get to her English class a bit early just to have some time to talk to him.  
            “You’re…surprisingly early,” Tavros muttered as he got settled in for class to start.  
            “Tavros,” she said, trying to stay calm as she put a hand on top of his, “I wanted to...ugh. This is so weird for me.”  
            “What is it?”  
            “I’ve been thinking, and talking to John about all the shit I’ve done, and… I guess I owe you an apology. I tried to tell myself I was a good person, that everything I put you through, and all our friends, I guess, was only me trying to help you; to make you stronger. But it wasn’t. It was because… I don’t know. Because making someone else feel miserable gave me some kind of joy? Because it meant I wasn’t the only one? I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say with this ramble. I guess, what it all amounts to, is that I’m sorry.” It didn’t feel like a lie. She actually did feel bad for all she’d put Tavros through. It wasn’t until he stood up for himself-- albeit while drunk-- that she realized what a problem it really was. Tavros’ silence was killing her. It seemed like he was trying to figure out if it was some kind of trick or not, and Vriska couldn’t blame him for doubting her.  
            “Vriska, I-- uh. What are you looking for me to say? I don’t…”  
            She sighed, trying to put more words together. “I guess I want to know if I completely ruined everything between us. Would you forgive me for the shitty things I’ve done?  
            “I… don’t know, Vriska, sorry. But, like I said, just because I don’t want to date you doesn’t mean we aren’t friends.” Vriska pursed her lips. She wasn’t looking for him to want to date her, she was fine with staying friends. But somehow the fact that he couldn’t bring himself to say “yes, I forgive you” still really hurt.  
            “...okay.”  
            “Were you…?” Tavros started, his voice trailing. Vriska glanced at him, suddenly very aware of herself.  
            “Was I what?” she asked, despite feeling like she already knew what the question was going to be.  
            Tavros sighed. “Were you really just using me to make John jealous?”  
            “See, that’s a long stor—” she paused, cut off by the bell. Class was about to start. “Can I message you about this later?” Tavros nodded at her.

 

            Vriska sat, blankly looking at her computer. She knew she owed Tavros an explanation, it was just going to be… a lot. She could already imagine the conversation Tav was having with his brother, wondering why the hell Tavros would give her yet another chance. Whatever. This wasn’t about what other people thought of her, especially Rufioh. She opened up Pesterchum and started a message.

 

arachnidsGrip [AG]  began pestering adiosToreador [AT]

AG: So……..  
AG: John.  
AG: That is a long story, Tavros, and I’m sorry for the way I’ve handled that entire situation  
AG: And how it pertains to you.  
AT: um,  
AT: how exactly does it pertain to me  
AG: So, here’s the thing, Tavros.  
AG: You know as well as I do that you and I have had an on-and-off thing  
AG: Or we did, all through middle school, even when I was dating Eridan.  
AG: Which frankly shouldn’t even count because we were like 12.  
AG: But anyway, I was kind of… conflicted, you could say, about my feelings towards you.  
AG: And I knew you were too.  
AG: I know I’m the type who seems like they can stand on their own, and I know I don’t *need* anyone else to help me be strong.  
AG: But that doesn’t stop me from wanting someone.  
AG: And for a while I thought that might be you.  
AG: But man, did we give each other mixed signals.  
AG: So, when I met John, I honestly kind of fell for him immediately?  
AG: And when we started hanging out and talking more, the feelings were genuine.  
AG: They still are, to be honest, but I don’t know if he wants anything to do with me anymore.

 

            That was still true. Even if they’d had one date, Vriska wasn’t convinced it would be enough to turn around his opinion of her. She was still worried about how she came off, even if John took everything in stride.

  
AG: Sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear.  
AG: But here’s where you come in.  
AG: I saw how jealous you were getting of John, as he started realizing…  
AG: How I really am.  
AG: That I’m not a nice person  
AG: Or a good person.  
AT: i dont think youre a bad person, vriska  
AG: I wish I could believe that.  
AG: But yeah, John started to get wary of me.  
AG: And I remembered, how on and off you and I were  
AG: And how jealous you got.  
AG: So I decided to turn the tables, and make him jealous.  
AG: And  I used you to do it.  
AG: Anyway, now I don’t have either of you, so I guess that just blew up in my face.  
AT: youre really frustrating  
AG: What?  
AT: ive told you, im still your friend  
AT: i think thats all were supposed to be  
AG: Considering what a shit show it’s been just getting to this point, you’re probably right.  
AT: and you havent lost john  
AT: uh, speaking as someone whos been in his position  
AT: the way he was looking at us, at, uh, the new years party  
AT: he still wants to spend time with you  
AG: You think?  
AT: its just, um, a hunch  
AT: but dont give up on him  
AG: Okay.  
AG: Tavros…  
AT: its ok  
AT: i know this is hard for you  
AT: uh, to apologize, i mean  
AG: Okay.  
AT: anyway, youre my friend  
AT: and i wont be jealous anymore  
AT: if you want to be with john  
AT: hes probably better for you anyway  
AG: Why do you say that?  
AT: youre right, vriska  
AT: im useless  
AG: Jeez, I guess I did say that a lot.  
AG: For the record, I don’t actually think that’s true.  
AT: what use is a crippled boy  
AG: Hey, you’ve always taken that in stride  
AG: Don’t tell me you’re going to become your handicap now  
AG: You’re a really fucking good friend.

 

            _Too_ good, as a matter of fact. Vriska never understood why he’d stuck so close, when she’d been so shitty to him, trying to force people away. And she was beginning to learn that staying close and trying to understand was just part of being a friend, something she’d never really been to him. She didn’t deserve for him to be so nice to her.

  
AT: um  
AT: thanks  
AG: And anyway, you can always try Equius’ prosthetic thing if it’s starting to get you down.  
AT: you know  
AT: i think i will?  
AG: Anyway, Tavros  
AG: This talk has been great.  
AG: But I have to go.  
AT: yeah  
AT: me too.

 

arachnidsGrip [AG] has ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]

 

           So… honesty wasn’t as difficult as she’d thought it was. In fact, it seemed like it might help her out.

 

           


	12. Getting Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska begins to understand the benefits of not being terrible to other people. If only her mother could learn the same lesson.

           Things began to move along fairly naturally between Vriska and John. They messaged each other a lot when they were not at school, and enjoyed each other’s presence even more than usual in their shared classes and during lunch periods. Apparently things were becoming too obvious, as the topic got uncomfortably broached by Vriska’s mother at their attempt of a family dinner. Vriska could feel her mother’s eyes on her, but tried not to acknowledge it, staring at her plate and eating as fast as she could. But before she could escape back to her bedroom, Suzanne spoke.  
            “You’ve been talking to a boy, haven’t you?” Vriska froze. “You’re different lately. Soft. I can tell.”  
            “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Vriska answered, without even turning around.  
            “Number one way to get hurt in this world, baby girl, is letting yourself be vulnerable. You get too emotional with this kid, he’s gonna break your heart.”  
            “Yeah and since when do you care if I get my heart broken?” Vriska turned on her heel and glared at her mom, watching her eyes narrow in rage. She’d never seen someone move that fast, but in a flash, Suzanne was up from the dinner table and halfway across the room, holding Vriska’s wrist in a vice grip.  
            “Listen, you little _shit._ I am your mother. You will not talk back to me like this. You will respect me. And you will do as I _say._ You should be grateful I’m even trying to tell you about the world.”  
            Vriska squirmed and winced. Her mother had never gotten physical with her, but was certainly emotionally abusive, and Vriska knew it was better to just play along, because continuing to enrage her would only escalate things. This was how she _really_ learned to not be soft and emotional. It was because being open, being too sad or too happy or even too angry just resulted in more harsh words and frustration and gaslighting. So she just pushed it all down. In front of her mother, in front of her sister, and in front of her friends. “Sorry, Mom,” Vriska conceded. Suzanne didn’t say anything, just sneered and tugged Vriska up the stairs and into her room.  
        “Yeah, you’re not gonna see him for a bit. You’ll be coming home right after school every day this week,” Suzanne said, only after shutting the door behind her. Vriska sank against the walls. At least she was alone for a bit. She wanted to drive her fist into the wall, but that would be _another_ ordeal in which she’d get yelled at for the damage, so instead she just started throwing pillows.    
        “God, my mom is such a _biiiiiiiitch!!_ ” she yelled, trying to do _something_ cathartic about all her pent up aggression and anger, and when the anger subsided, Vriska’s face withered. She ran both hands through her hair, tugging it in her fists. The muscles under her empty eye socket twitched, and she began to cry a bit. She sobbed for a moment, and then a moment longer, and then began to simply sniffle. Aranea would never know how lucky Vriska considered her to be; Aranea got to leave in a few months. Vriska was going to be stuck here. But… there was John. No matter what her mother said, Vriska was going to continue to spend time with John. Because he somehow made things feel less terrible without even trying. He was a little oblivious about things that seemed pretty apparent, and he wasn’t the most tactful person, but he was sweet and kind and cute, and Vriska couldn’t help but wonder if she might be the same way if she’d grown up with a family like his. She hadn’t met Mr. Egbert yet, but she knew John loved his dad. She wondered what it would be like to grow up with a family who actually loved her. Aranea _tried,_ but it was more out of obligation. Or at least, that was the sense Vriska always got. Their dad was MIA and Mom was… well, she was a piece of work. Vriska let out a long sigh, dragging a hand across her face, wiping her tears away. Crying wasn’t something she did often, but sometimes things just overflowed. As long as nobody ever saw that side of her, everything would be fine. She stood up and crossed the room to her desk, sliding into the chair and pulling her laptop open. There was a message on Pesterchum waiting for her.

 

caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

CA: vris i know we havent talked much one on one since you ended things  
CA: but theres somethin i gotta come clean about  
AG: Oh????????  
AG: Consider my curiosity piqued.  
CA: well  
CA: been talkin to kar and been thinkin about how i am as a person  
CA: and how i try to excuse it  
CA: basically i know im an asshole but im an asshole because im so terrified of this secret coming out  
CA: and kar told me i cant keep using this… thing… as an excuse  
CA: of course hes right he gives freaky good advice  
CA: especially with romance even though hes shit at dealing with his own romance  
AG: Eridan you’re rambling, can you please get to your fucking point?  
AG: I’m having a really shitty day to be completely honest.  
CA: ok well the point is that i decided to just  
CA: be honest about stuff  
CA: at least with you guys  
CA: because maybe if you all understand what im dealing with and i dont have to worry about hiding it…  
CA: i dont really know i just thought it would be a good idea to tell everyone  
CA: uh vris  
CA: im…  
CA: im trans  
AG: You’re a girl?  
CA: no  
CA: well i mean  
CA: biologically speaking  
CA: but i mean im a trans guy  
AG: I mean it doesn’t make a difference to me, you’re still just as insufferable.  
CA: yeah… i know  
CA: but it feels good to say  
AG: Who else knows?  
CA: fef  
CA: shes known for years  
CA: cro but hes a jerk about it  
CA: kar found out at the halloween party  
CA: kan probably knows because she helped me with homecoming  
CA: rose because her sister hacked my school files  
CA: so at least teachers arent deadnaming me  
AG: Deadname?  
CA: yeah my uh…  
CA: my birth name  
AG: Wait, so your parents didn’t name you Eridan? What is it?  
CA: are you fuckin kiddin me that is so baseless and rude  
CA: you cant just ask someone what their deadname is vris  
AG: Okay, sorryyyyyyyy!  
AG: I don’t know the rules here, I’m trying to understand.  
CA: okay well im still eridan  
CA: my dead name is just  
CA: the one my dad still uses because im too chicken shit to tell him im not a girl  
CA: the one that causes me to fuckin hate myself and my body  
CA: and my dad would never understand  
CA: hed probably disown me  
CA: or out me publicly  
AG: Your dad isn’t that terrible.  
CA: my dad is a pretty atrocious person actually  
CA: and even if he wasnt he certainly has more traditional views  
CA: ive been a junior debutante for two years already  
CA: and hes always telling me to wear more skirts and dresses and not be such a ‘tomboy’  
CA: i go to feferis house before school every day and change into my boy clothes just so he doesnt give me a hard time when i leave  
CA: god sorry i dont even know why im dumping all this on you  
CA: i just wanted to start telling everyone  
CA: and i figured since you and i dated  
AG: Yeah… I mean I also understand what it’s like to have shitty parents.  
AG: At least you _have_ both of yours.  
AG: Ha, my mom just locked me in the room for talking back.  
AG: When she was giving me a hard time for actually having feelings.  
CA: she sounds harsh  
CA: like you  
AG: There’s a reason I come off as harsh, Eridan.  
AG: She’s taught me that emotions are bad. Vulnerability is bad. And she got upset with me for opening myself up to John and locked me in my room and grounded me for the rest of the week because I challenged her.  
CA: vris i think thats the most raw and honest youve been with me and i was your fuckin boyfriend  
AG: Yeah, well, I’m on a learning curve here.  
AG: But, don’t tell anyone, ok?  
CA: only if i can ask the same from you  
AG: Listen I know I’m a bitch but I’m not gonna out you.  
AG: Christ, what do you take me for?  
CA: i just  
CA: am in the process of telling everyone  
AG: Are you gonna tell your dad?  
CA: maybe  
CA: maybe ill just stop letting cro blackmail me  
AG: Why is your brother such a skeeze?  
CA: hell if i know  
AG: Didn’t he cheat on Kankri?  
CA: yeah  
CA: and hes always threatening to tell dad about me if i dont cover up for him about smokin and sneakin megido in to bang her and stuff like that  
CA: the whole arrangement is shit  
AG: Do you think he’d follow through on it?  
CA: dunno  
CA: sometimes i hope so because it would be easier than telling dad myself  
CA: anyway vris i just wanted to get that off my chest  
CA: i mean i also wanna get my CHEST off my chest so maybe that was a poor choice of phrase but you know what i mean  
AG: Yeah.  
AG: I mean if you need someone to talk to about the whole family situation…  
CA: youre so soft right now wtf  
AG: I’m trying to be a better person you asswipe!  
AG: And also I think I understand shitty family situations more than most of our little crew.  
AG: Feferi’s had everything handed to her for years and Karkat has his huge supportive family and I know those are typically your go-tos when it comes to airing things out.  
CA: yeah well i appreciate the sentiment  
CA: i gotta go though and talk to some other people  
AG: And do the whole coming out thing again.  
AG: Why not just do this in the group chat?  
CA: dunno  
CA: seems impersonal  
AG: Okay well good luck.  
AG: Though I don’t think anyone in the friends group is gonna disown you or anything.  
AG: Well, not about being trans.  
CA: yeah its not really them im worried about but its still hard to say  
CA: bye vris

caligulasAquarium [CA] eased pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]  


            Vriska ran a hand through her hair. Everyone seemed troubled lately. Or maybe she was just beginning to notice more, and not be such a self-absorbed bitch.

 

            She was thinking about all this in class the next day, pondering over everything she’d done and said and how _hard_ it was to be a good person. All she’d ever wanted to do was make her friends stronger and better but they seemed to resent her for it. They all wanted her to change. Maybe they were right, and maybe it _would_ be for the better, but she also knew her mother would never understand why she wanted to reconnect with other people.  
            “Vriska.” She sat up in her seat a bit at Terezi’s sudden appearance.  
            “Oh, we’re speaking?”  
            “Yeah, I think I… I think we should.” Vriska looked up at her coldly. Her best friend, her ‘Scourge Sister’ who’d abandoned her when things got too hard to deal with.  
            “Finally decided to apologize, then?”  
            “I! No! I don’t think I have anything to apologize for, Vriska. I cut you out because I thought our friendship was toxic. But… it seems to me that you’re becoming more aware of yourself.”  
            “I… uh. Okay,” Vriska said. That wasn’t the answer she expected.  
            “Listen, Vriska, you and I are best friends. I don’t think there’s any denying it.”       
            “I agree, but you’re the one who decided to leave.”  
            “Yeah, but… like I said. It was about how you treated other people. And now I think you’re at least trying to be better.”  
            “So… you forgive me?”  
            “I don’t know if ‘forgive’ is the word I would use. More like… I am willing to acknowledge your past as your _past._ I just… miss you.”  
            “Ter, that’s the gayest thing you’ve ever said to me. But…” Vriska pondered for a moment. “You wanna get the Scourge Sisters back in action?”  
            “Yeah…”  
            “Well… I miss you too. So let’s just make amends already! Besides, someone’s got to keep you from making terrible romantic decisions.”  
            “What!”  
            “Let’s be real, you have terrible taste. Karkat, Dave…” Terezi’s face withered, and Vriska decided not to push it, especially since John would be showing up in class any minute. If nothing else came out of that day, Vriska had her best friend back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i ever know what im doing with these chapters? no. no i do not


	13. First Kiss

twinArmageddons [TA] started memo: aradia’s birthday shenanigans

TA: okay guys so

             Before even seeing Sollux’s second message, Vriska knew this group chat was going to be a headache and a half. And she wanted to be nice about it, but maybe not when there were 15 other people watching her words and actions. She spent so long rebuffing others’ affection and attention and building up this reputation of being a really tough, kickass, no holds barred type of girl. This whole ‘turning over a new leaf’ and ‘being a good person’ thing was really tiring, and frankly, she wasn’t in the mood for it.

  
TA: aradia’s been away from skaia high for a couple months  
TA: but i thought it would be cool of us to throw her a surprise party  
TA: ive already arranged things with her dad, and tavros and i are taking care of snacks and decorations  
TA: all you guys have to do is show up to Prospit park at 4:30 on friday

 adiosToreador [AT] responded to memo

  
AT: actually, if anyone wants to help me set up, that’d be great

  
cuttlefishCuller [CC] responded to memo

  
CC: Shore! I’d love to be there for Aradia.  
CC: I can’t help set up, though. I have swim practice after school.  
CC: Sorry, Tav.  
AT: that’s fine

  
arachnidsGrip [AG] responded to memo

  
AG: You mean you’ve actually done something helpful, toreadork?  
AT: um, yeah, actually  
AT: sollux told me about this on friday  
AT: we’ve been planning.  
AG: Whatever, as if I’d go to a surprise part for ARADIA, of all people.  
AG: Finally gonna ask her out, Lispy McAsshat?  
TA: maybe  
AG: Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!  
AG: Fine, I’ll show up just to watch that disaster unfold.

  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] responded to memo

  
CG: What the fuck is your problem?

  
ectoBiologist [EB] responded to memo

  
EB: wow, vriska, calm down.

             Well that was just great. Honestly that was the last thing she wanted, for John to go back to thinking she was some kind of heinous bitch.

  
CG: Aradia has always been a good friend.  
CG: I don’t get why you hate her so much.

  
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] responded to memo

  
GA: Yes, Aradia has been helping me with my romantic problems, despite having her own, and despite being quite away from us.  
GA: I would love to attend.  
CG: Yeah, shut the fuck up, Serket.  
CG: I’ll go.

             Yeah, because Karkat was one to talk about shutting up. He ran his mouth 24/7, usually about nothing in particular. Vriska rolled her eyes at the screen.

turntechGodhead [TG] responded to memo

  
TG: im in  
TG: rose and jade too probably  
TA: are they not in the chat?  
TG: i dunno theyre not online right now  
TG: but im seeing rose later so ill let her know  
CG: Nepeta says she’ll come too.  
TA: if you hear from gz, let him know too  
CG: Yeah, okay.  
CG: He’s been making himself scarce lately though.  
TA: yeah i know  
CC: Eridan wants to know if he’s invited.  
TA: eugh  
TA: yeah i guess  
TA: equius too  
TA: though that might be awkward  
CG: He’s here too.  
CG: He says he’ll go.  
TA: ff what the fuck is Eridan doing at your house?  
CC: We’re still friends, Sollux!  
TA: whatever  
AG: Okay, we’re all fucking going, can this pointless chat end now?  
TG: what about terezi  
CG: Why don’t YOU tell her, Strider?  
TG: no need to be jealous karkles  
TG: you know id never dream of anyone but you  
CG: Shut the fuck up, don’t call me Karkles.  
TA: you two are fucking gross.  
TA: see you all at the party, then.  
CG: You’ll see us at school tomorrow, dipshit.  
AG: Hey, yeah, why couldn’t this idiocy have waited for then?  
TA: fuck, this just seemed easier.  
TA: you don’t have to get up my ass about it.

 

            God, why was she even reading this? It was just a bunch of idiots yelling at other idiots for being idiots. Aradia didn’t even _like_ Vriska, why would she want Vriska at her party? But it seemed like Sollux was well-meaning. And honestly it would be worth it just to watch him fail to ask her out again.

 

EB: oh, tavros, i’ll help you set up if you want!  
AT: oh, yeah  
AT: thanks, john

 

twinArmageddons [TA] closed memo: aradia’s birthday shenanigans

 

            And as if all that wasn’t enough, now John and Tavros were the party prep committee. Why did John have to volunteer to help out? Not only was it a reminder that he was definitely a better person than she was and at least was trying to be selfless, but _also_ she just knew that John and Tavros were going to talk about her, and who knows how that would affect relationships going forward? Lord, those two having a private conversation was probably the _last_ thing she wanted. Still, what would Tavros say about her that she hadn’t already at least attempted to tell John? God, having a boyfriend was honestly terrifying and exhausting. At least she’d gotten over the ‘does he like me back’ worry.

            The week went by fairly quickly, and then it was the weekend of the party. Vriska really didn’t feel like attending on Aradia’s behalf, but she’d already said she’d be there and the last thing she needed to give her friends was more fuel to call her a bitch. And besides, it was an excuse to see John without explicitly telling her mother she was going to see John. When Aradia showed up at the park, there was a bit of a hullabaloo, and then everyone broke off into different party activities, but Vriska still felt displaced by everyone else. She just sat at one of the picnic tables under the gazebo until John walked over to her, an odd, sort of concerned expression on his face. When he caught her looking at him, he shot her a small smile and sat down. Vriska smiled softly at him. They sat in silence for a moment, then John spoke.   
           “Vriska… are we, like, a thing?”  
            Vriska looked inquisitively at him. “What do you mean?”  
            “Like… do you think of me as your boyfriend?”  
            “Of course I do, stupid.”  
            John paused for a moment. “Well… I don’t know, you just don’t act like we’re together around everyone else.”  
            “I don’t…” Vriska sighed. She didn’t know how to explain it to him, how despite wanting to seem like some super-cool badass she was actually always afraid of something, afraid of losing him or pushing her friends away or her mom treating her worse than she already did, and it was easier to just act aloof and like nothing ever bothered her. John took her hand in his and ran his thumb along the outside of hers. “I don’t want to look weak. I _can’t_ look weak.”  
            “I don’t understand what you mean by looking weak. These people here, they’re your friends. They’re not going to judge you if you’re not 100% alert, guard up all the time.”  
            “I’m not worried about judgement, I’m just… not wired to let my guard down.”  
            “Well can you let it down for me?” John said. Vriska looked sharply up at him, struggling to find the words to answer. “If we’re…” John paused for a moment. “If we’re together… then I want you to know you can tell me anything. But I want to _be_ together. Even around them. Look at Kanaya and Rose. They’re cuddling 24/7. I’m not saying we have to be like that, but… I don’t know, some PDA wouldn’t hurt. Fuck, I didn’t even know what we _were_ until just now. I…”  
            “No, I understand. If I want this to work, and trust me, I _do,_ I need to learn not to be so afraid.”  
            “What’re you afraid of?”  
            Vriska smiled a bit. For once, she didn’t feel a need to hide the truth. “I don’t know. That I’ll push you away like I aways do. Or worse; you’ll push me away.”  
            “I would never.”  
            Before Vriska could really process what was happening, John was leaning into her, and she was leaning into him, and then they kissed.  
            John pulled away, tilting his forehead into Vriska’s. “Uh…” she muttered, laughing a bit. John was still looking down, blushing furiously. She broke away and poured a glass of root beer, then turned to the group, wondering if anybody had seen that happen. “Hey nerds! Who wants to bet I can drink this whole bottle in one go!”  
            “HOLY SHIT!” she heard Karkat shout from across the park. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”  
            “Karkat, you FUCKER!” Sollux yelled back. “Can you not lose your shit for one day?!”  
            “Well excuse me, shithead. I need to go now. My dad just got shot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops forgot to update *shrug*


	14. Indifferent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska seems unaffected by Karkat's loss. Maybe it was just part of life.

           Contrary to what Karkat thought, time went on. School was still in session, so Vriska kept dragging her ass there every day, and at least _trying_ to resist her constant temptation to ditch class. She really ought to try to be better, if not even just for herself, then for John. He was such a good person, and he _liked_ her, so maybe she ought to try to be a good person too. And there was just one major obstacle preventing her from wholly doing that. She had to make some kind of amends with Tavros. She spotted him in the hallway one afternoon.  
            “Hey, toreadork.”   
           “Uh, hi, Vriska.”  
            “Hey, nice job with the party,” she said, nudging him in the arm. “’bout time you did something cool.”  
            “Hey, I threw the Halloween party too.”  
            “Yeah, but we both know _I’m_ the one who brought the excitement to the party.” All that shit with Equius and Aradia was way more fun than Tavros’ stupid games. Still, things were weighty between them. Maybe it was because of how long they had been on and off with their feelings for each other, and then suddenly, Vriska was the one who was done with it, now that she was dating John. “Tavros, this fucking sucks.”  
            “What?” Tavros looked at her, confused.  
            “What do you mean, what? For starters, this completely horrible halfway state we’re in, like that bullshit Sollux and Aradia have been doing for ages.”  
            “Oh yeah. I don’t know, this isn’t so bad. I think maybe we both overreacted, about our feelings?”  
            “Overreacting my ass!”  
            “No, I think I’ve decided, you’re being unreasonable.”  
            “Oh, sure. That’s easy for you to say. You have no idea what I deal with,” she muttered. Tavros had a normal family.  
            “You might be right.”  
            “What?” Damn him and his wishy washy nonsense!  
            “I don’t know,” Tavros murmured.  
            “So… how have you been?” Vriska asked, for lack of anything else to say.  
            “I’ve been okay, don’t talk like we never see each other.”  
            “Yeah, I’ve been okay. Hey, sorry about that, by the way.” The apology didn’t get stuck in her throat as they so often used to. She was truly _attempting_ to make things right.  
            “About what?”  
            “Being so mean-spirited. It wasn’t very cool of me.”  
            “Oh, right. I haven’t been thinking about it.”  
            “How could you not be thinking about it? Haven’t you been pissed off at me about it?” Wasn’t that why their friendship had been waning? Or was that because of the old love triangle that Vriska used to play into?  
            “No, I mean, I pretended to be confident and was pretty mean too.” Vriska contained a laugh. Tavros was basically incapable of being mean.  
            “You idiot, that’s not what happened at all. I was being a huge bitch!”  
            “That’s… not really how I remember it.”  
            “Ugh, stop being so stupid. That’s so stupid!”  
            “No, you’re stupid.”  
            Vriska huffed at him. “You are such a pain in the ass. Let’s just agree it was my fault and drop it.”  
            “No, but okay…” Tavros finally said. Vriska sighed. She’d given her apology. If Tavros was going to dance around it like this that was his problem. Even with that conclusion, it felt like a weight off her chest. So when Karkat sent out a group message in regards to his father, Vriska truly did not have the emotional wherewithal to deal with it.

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] has started memo: FUCK

CG: Hey everyone.  
CG: So…  
CG: Bad news…  
CG: My dad… he…  
CG: Didn’t make it.

cuttlefishCuller [CC] responded to memo

CC: Karkat, I’m so sorry!

turntechGodhead [TG] responded to memo

TG: fucking blows dude  
CG: Don’t be sarcastic, Strider.  
TG: im not  
TG: it may shock you to know that I am in fact  
TG: capable of sincerity  
TG: give me the benefit of the doubt dude  
TG: instead of hopping all over me the minute I open my mouth  
TG: all up in my business like youre trying to hop on my dick  
CG: GROSS, fuck off.  
TG: nah man the fuck is on  
TG: your sympathy fuck I mean  
TG: looking for one?

twinArmageddons [TA] responded to memo

TA: wouldn’t put it past him  
TG: haha nice one man  
CG: You FUCKERS!  
CG: Stop ganging up on me, it’s seriously not cool.  
CG: I’m having an honest to God crisis.

arachnidsGrip [AG] responded to memo

AG: Honestly, Karkat, when aren’t you having a crisis?  
CG: UUUUGH forget it.  
CG: Why did I think I could talk to you assholes?

ectoBiologist [EB] responded to memo

EB: guys, come on  
EB: karkat just lost someone important to him.  
EB: I don’t think it’s the time for dick jokes.  
TG: what are you like his boyfriend or something  
EB: dave, no.  
EB: i’m not…  
EB: i’m straight, dave.  
TG: sure  
TG: youre about as straight as i am  
TG: but sure  
CG: Egbert, PLEASE. I DON’T need your fucking help.  
CG: Strider, SHUT UP.  
AG: Soooooooo  
AG: What exactly was the point of this group chat?  
AG: Half of us aren’t even online right now.  
TA: man I wish I wasn’t  
CG: I was trying to get to that.  
CG: I could honestly really use some moral support right now.  
CG: So you’re all invited to the funeral.  
CG: Not that any of you will actually show up.  
CG: Now leave me alone.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now an idle chum!

 

            Vriska rolled her eyes. It had been a few days since Karkat ditched the birthday party, and everyone had been more or less radio silent, except for John. He texted Vriska pretty much non-stop, which was something she wasn’t quite used to; talking to someone all the time and being close to them. But John was different. She could trust him. Regardless, she found the whole thing to be pretty melodramatic. Coming from Karkat, that was unsurprising. Aranea knocked lightly on her door.  
             “Hey. Did you hear about Mr. Vantas?” she asked.  
             “Yeah. Karkat won’t shut up about it.”  
             “Do you… want to talk about it?” Vriska scoffed at her sister. She should have figured this conversation was coming. Aranea was pretty into Solomon’s way of life and his teachings.  
             “What’s there to talk about? He died. People die every day.”  
             Aranea scowled at her. “That’s so cold, Vris. He’s your friend’s dad.”  
             “Yeah, and?”  
             “Wow. Callous as ever,” Aranea murmured before skulking off. Whatever. Who was she to judge? She only pretended to care about people. There was no way she actually gave a shit about how Kankri was feeling. And there was no way her mom would give a shit about Solomon, either. Actually, their mom didn’t give a shit about most things, so that wasn’t saying much. Vriska slumped her shoulders, laying her head down on the computer desk. What was the big deal anyway? Sometimes people died. And sometimes people didn’t have dads. Karkat was just part of the club now.

 

             Vriska went about her business. It wasn’t her problem, and the world kept turning, after all. School still happened the next morning, and Vriska walked the last few blocks to school from where her mom dropped her off alongside Eridan, Feferi and Gamzee trailing behind them a bit.  
            “Didn’t see you poking your head into the group chat yesterday,” Vriska muttered to him.  
            “Yeah, well I don’t think Karkat would want to hear what I have to say.”  
            “What’s that?”  
            “Maybe life would be easier without a dad around. Course, my situation is a bit different.”  
            “What, is he being an ass?”  
            “Look, don’t try to make this about me. I got my own issues to deal with, I didn’t want to put them on him is all. So I kept my mouth shut.”  
            “So considerate,” Vriska said, bitter sarcasm on her tongue.  
            “Hey, I’m at least _tryin’_ to be less of an ass.”  
            Vriska shrugged a bit, biting her tongue. She already knew Nepeta and Karkat would likely be out of school that day, dealing with the sudden lack of a father in their lives, but she was surprised to see Kanaya on her way to school, walking on the other side of the street from her and Eridan. She darted over, leaving Eridan behind. Kanaya was obviously annoyed before Vriska even opened her mouth.  
            “So, sucks about your uncle, huh?” Kanaya just sighed at her. “I mean, if you ask me, Karkat’s being really melodramatic about the whole thing. I grew up my whole life without a dad, and look how I turned out.”  
            “I would not use your character as the basis of ‘turning out okay’,” Kanaya answered through clenched teeth.  
            “What! All I’m saying is, it’s not the end of the world if he has to learn a little independence. Actually, Karkat’s kind of a whiner. This might actually be a good thing.”  
            And before another word was out of either of their mouths, there was a sudden, blunt pain in Vriska’s nose and she stumbled, falling onto the sidewalk. “Shut. _Up._ About my cousin,” Kanaya said tersely. Vriska pinched her nose to keep it from bleeding as Eridan ran across the street to see what was going on.  
            “Ow! Jeez, why do people keep on punching me!”  
            “Maybe you deserve it,” Eridan muttered. Again, Kanaya moved like a flash, turning on her heel and slapping Eridan across the face. “God! What did _I_ do?!” he shouted.  
            “That one was not for me, it was for Sollux and Feferi,” Kanaya said, before shifting her bag on her shoulder and continuing on her way as though nothing had happened. Vriska could still see Feferi and Gamzee across the street, taking in the scene. Feferi looked confused and concerned, and Gamzee was grinning like he thought it was funny. Vriska stood up and brushed herself off.  
            “You wanna fight, Makara?” she shouted, while Feferi and Eridan just  
stared. Gamzee didn’t answer, just continued to grin.  
            “Vriska, stop it,” Eridan urged her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She nudged him away.  
            “Shut the fuck up, Eridan, you’re no voice of reason.” And feeling isolated once again, Vriska left the others and just went to class.  
            Maybe they were right, maybe she did deserve it, maybe she isolated herself so nobody else could reject her, so it was all her call. And maybe she would be different if her dad had been around, or at the very least, if he knew who he was. She didn’t even know if her dad was the same guy as Aranea’s dad, since their mom didn’t know who either of their dads were. Apparently that was what happened when you spent your twenties just partying and fucking around and not having to work for anything in your goddamn life, because you’re old money. Seriously, Vriska had no idea how it was possible that their mother had absolutely everything handed to her, but never gave Vriska or Aranea anything. Probably because she was a twisted, abusive selfish bitch. But with a parent like that, was Vriska destined to turn out just like her? Or did she just have to keep pushing herself to do something with her life? Sometimes she wished she were in Aranea’s position, able to leave before the end of the year. And sometimes she thought Aranea was just running away from her problems. Whatever. Maybe she was the way she was because of her mom, because of the way she was raised. But there wasn’t anything to do about it. So she wasn’t always the nicest person. Big deal. She was who she was. Maybe Vriska could soften a little, and let people in. But she wasn’t about to pretend to be someone different just to please others. She had flaws, and the people who mattered would be able to look past that. She’d work on things, maybe be a little nicer and try to understand her own feelings more, but the people who didn’t like her because she was ambitious and wanted to leave some kind of mark on the world? They were just going to have to suck it up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i love when i disappear for a month then write a bunch. ugh i just wanna finish the series tbh


	15. Graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The future is an anomaly. Vriska has no idea what hers may look like.

            “And now, our valedictorian, Aranea Serket!”  
            Vriska rolled her eyes, even as her sister stepped up to the podium to give her speech. Because _of course_ little miss perfect would be valedictorian. The thing was, she barely won it at the last minute, squeaking past Kankri in the last month of classes. And it wasn’t because she was smarter, either. It was because Kankri’s focus wavered after his dad died. And Aranea’s speech was so cliché. All about how they would be going into a new phase of their lives and being adults and college is scary but Vriska knew half of the audience were people who definitely peaked in high school. Which was sad. No surprise her mom wasn’t there, either. Because it wasn’t as though she gave a shit. She’d been harping about Aranea ‘abandoning’ her and so said, “why would I go to celebrate her? She’s a traitor” and left Vriska to figure out her own transportation. At the very least, John was there. John was the only thing keeping Vriska from just bailing. The more she thought about life with Aranea gone, the more she just wanted to leave her mother’s house and go somewhere. Anywhere away. With Aranea gone, it would be nothing but screaming matches and manipulation and hatred. But John seemed to make things okay, even if it was just that Mr. Egbert always made it clear the door was open for her. She just needed to keep her chin up and power through the last three years. Then she’d go off and become someone. She could leave behind her terrible life and maybe drop some of her defense mechanisms. Everything would be fine. Maybe.


End file.
